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SUPERBOWL RECAP FUN

2/8/10

 

So here we sit on another Super Monday Jerk Nation, with yet another NFL champion who is NOT the Eagles, wondering what could have been.  But enough about the Philly plight, how about that game last night?  Despite Madden NFL 2010 and some random gorilla at a zoo picking the Saints to win, most of the country...and the world...were SURE that Peyton Manning and the Colts would wipe the floor with the Saints.  Unfortunately, the team formerly known as the "Aint's" would have none of that.  Drew Brees put on a clinic in efficiency, the Saints defense kept Peyton Manning off the field for all but 3 handoffs worth of plays in the entire 2nd quarter, and a few clutch plays, one hell of a gutsy onside kick attempt at the start of the 2nd half, and a 70 yard Pick-6 INT return by Tracy Porter later the New Orleans Saints are Superbowl champions!

 

For all of you in the "Peyton Manning will go down as the best QB ever" ilk, think again.  For his career, Manning now falls to a pedestrian 9-9 record in the playoffs, with 1 Superbowl victory (where he played pretty poorly) and 1 Superbowl loss (where he played fairly well).  Regular season mastery, 4 league MVP trophies, and all the career passing records he will end up with cannot, should not, and I think WILL NOT over-shadow the fact that when it matters the most, Manning is an average QB.  Football is more of a team sport than any other, but the true legends like Terry Bradshaw & Joe Montana played best when it mattered most, so in my opinion Peyton is destined to fall into the secondary group of all time greats.

 

 

 

 

BACK ON THE POD....SORTA

1/20/10

 

TSJ Nation, I hope everyone had a happy NFL Divisional playoff weekend.  Everything was going good for your boy The Sports Jerk, give or take the Eagles ending their season in an embarrassing way, but I digress on that.  In other matters, after getting ripped by Football Today Podcast host Jeremy Green last week...as well as earlier in the year...for my anti-Andy Reid sentiment, he then turned around and went haywire yesterday because Chargers Head Coach Norv Turner got a 3 year contract extension after leading his team to another division title and the AFC #2 seed.

 

Obviously I had to go at him, and so I load the shotgun and blasted off at Jeremy.  You can check out the Podcast below to listen to the entertaining "back and forth" between Jeremy and the e-mail I sent in.  Granted, they completely took the TEETH out of my e-mail so that Jeremy would have a fighting chance, and allowed him to cut off each section with jokes and responses.  But oh well, I know I'm right and he's wrong.

 

NOTE: Discussion starts around the 18 minute mark

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD
 

For the sake of fairness, here is the actual and FULL e-mail I sent in to JG & Pod.  I backed up my argument very well with facts & opinions, which is what they decided to leave out and instead interjected misleading stats that "persuade" people to his point of view. Take a look:

 

JG, JG, JG,

Congrats on officially going from someone I believed in to an ABSOLUTE FRAUD in less than 1 podcast!!! How in the dancing hell can you go to town and belittle me for wanting to dump Andy Reid and being angry about his extension, then turn around and be outraged at the Chargers for extending Norv Turner? What exactly is the difference?

If anything, Andy Reid has had a DECADE to get us over the top and has FAILED!!! Norv Turner has made the Chargers the power of the AFC West, a perennial Superbowl contender, and done more with less in half the time Andy Reid has already had. Not to mention, Norv has DOMINATED as a coordinator in the past, while Andy Reid was a QB coach before getting the Eagles gig, so he has more credibility and reasons to think he can make adjustments in the future.

And to make things WORSE, Andy Reid got extended for LONGER, and in the MIDDLE of this season that ended with us losing the #2 seed and the division title in Week 17 followed by a TERRIBLE 1st round playoff loss, both to the hated Cowboys. At least San Diego waited until AFTER they were eliminated from the playoffs to extend Norv, and after he led the Chargers to the #2 seed and a division title before their 2nd round UPSET loss.

It's absolutely a disgrace Jeremy for you to say we should stand by Andy Reid and then to gawk at the Chargers standing by Norv. You my friend are officially CUT OFF from being considered unbiased and someone with a valid opinion. For shame!!!!

Jay Fendrick a.k.a. The Sports Jerk dot com

P.S. - And you had the nerve to base your "anger" around what you called "The Pulse of the city of San Diego". The pulse of Philly AGREES with me, that Andy, Donovan, or BOTH needed to go. Pick up the newspaper ace!!!!

 

 

LANE KIFFIN = PIMP

1/14/10

 

Jerk Nation, everyone by now knows what went down with Tennessee Vols coach Lane Kiffin skipping town after just 1 season to head back to USC, where he first jumped off as a "future star coach".  All the outrage aside, one thing is for sure: LANE KIFFIN IS A PIMP!!!  Think about it, what has this guy really done?  He was a cog in a very thorough USC staff during the team's dominance last decade, and parlayed that into a job as the Head Coach of the Oakland Raiders.  Somewhere in that process he became too big for his own britches, causing a rift between himself and Raiders owner Al Davis, and after a poor 1st season and problems at the start of his 2nd season, this led to his firing and public tongue lashing by Al that most people would not recover from.  But instead of sulking, Lane Kiffin managed to immediate snag the Head Coaching gig at the University of Tennessee, a storied program in the vaunted SEC conference.  After calling out the Defending Champion Florida Gators and their own head coach Urban Meyer (amongst others), Lane created quite a stir that led to national attention for the program.  This surely helped in securing a very strong recruiting class in his first season, and despite only having a decent 7-6 season, the Vols had another good recruiting class coming in.

 

Fast forward a bit to last week, where former mentor Pete Carroll bolted USC for the NFL amidst an NCAA probe into past indiscretions that reportedly took place at Southern Cal, Lane Kiffin was offered and quickly accepted the Head Coaching job at USC, leaving Tennessee in the lurch after just 1 season (and amid a probe into possible recruiting violations he caused at UT).  Again though, WHAT has Lane Kiffin really done?  I can't think of one defining moment he's had that has to do with being a good coach.  If anything, he may be the reason why TMZ.com is spawning a sports division.  Lane Kiffin is a great self-promoted, knows how to stir the pot, and knows what buttons to push to keep people talking about him and his team, while at the same time nobody seems to know why.  More importantly, nobody cares why, and that is the reason he's a TRUE Pimp.

 

 

HATERS STILL HATING

1/12/10

 

What up Jerkers? LOL, that name sucks too, but I'll get it right someday.  So as the title suggest, I've gotten an influx of hate from non-Eagles fans over how "good we have it" in Philly. Maybe we are spoiled with years of being competitive, but to hell with that.  Here's my rebuttle to all of the nonsense remarks, which included some angry e-mails that were read on today's Podcast (CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD):

 

JG & Pod,

As expected and as it always seems to happen, everyone on the outside looking in thinks us Eagles fans have it good and call us whiners when we complain about losing in the playoffs. For all the fans of teams who suck year in and year out...all I can say is man up. I spent the holidays with my in-laws and my father-in-law is the world's biggest Raiders diehard. We had the same argument, and I kept saying I'd rather have no hope, than false hope. Better to know your won't win, then to think you can win every year, buy in, and then have your heart shattered time and time again. That's how Eagles nation feels at the end of every year.

Meanwhile, in the 29 years I've been alive, hated rivals Dallas, Washington, and The New Jersey Midgets (aka Giants) have 3 championships EACH, while Philly has NONE. Instead, we have 2 Superbowl losses and 4 NFC Championship game losses and you all think that's something to be proud of?

I agree with the one e-mailer who said that the definition of madness is to think that you can keep doing the same thing and get different results. The Eagles need change, and with Reid locked up long-term, moving #5 is the only thing we can do. His biggest flaw is being inaccurate, and we run a west-coast offense that's SUPPOSED to be based on short, ACCURATE passes. According to Andy's post-season interview on Monday, it doesn't seem like the scheme is going to change, but something has to give.

We drafted Kolb in the 2nd round with the intention to start him someday, and he's about to enter the last year of his rookie deal. I'd much rather give him a chance to start next season and have the team struggle, then to stay with McNabb and trade or let Kolb walk away only for him to become Drew Brees Jr. somewhere else. More than likely, I foresee this situation turning out like when Green Bay let Favre walk because Aaron Rodgers was ready, and now A-Rodge is a budding Superstar in his own right in just his 2nd season as the starter .

Listen, the only redeeming quality of Andy Reid is that he's willing to let ANYBODY go when he thinks it's time, and he needs to stay consistent and do that with McNabb. Donovan is still good enough to get us a 1st Round pick and another player back, and with Tom Heckert just officially named the GM in QB starved Cleveland along with Football Czar Mike Holmgren a.k.a. Andy Reid Sr., we have the perfect trading partner.

Give up McNabb for the the Browns #1 and maybe disgruntled Kick Returner Josh Cribbs, go into next season giving Kolb his chance at QB, and use our two 1st round picks to get a Defensive End & Safety, and we will be set for the entire NEXT decade!!!!

Thanks for the great season on the Pod guys.

Jay Fendrick a.k.a. The Sports Jerk dot com

 

 

CRUSHED ON THE PODCAST

1/11/10

 

Hello All, and happy Monday.  Hopefully most of you have read my definitive "What the Eagles need to do this off-season" article from yesterday. After writing that up, I sent in the basis of what it said as my Recap/Sign-Off as Eagles Superfan this season on ESPN Radio's Podcenter Football Today daily podcast, and they read and discussed it today. As usual, nobody shares the same feelings that all of us Eagle fans do, in that serious change is in order.  But I will let you all listen to it for yourselves, click below and tell me what you think on my Facebook page.

NOTE: Discussion starts around the 12 minute, 50 second mark

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD
 

 

ANOTHER SEASON, STILL NO RING

1/10/10

 

I've spent the last 30 hours trudging around in misery after the Eagles layed their second 2nd straight turd in Dallas, this one ending a once promising season. Rather than focus on the negatives, which would probably end with me spending life in prison for killing Andy "Can't Coach" Reid & Donovan "Can't Pass" McNabb.  Instead, I put my time and effort into something more positive, and decided to look ahead.  I wrote up a full fledged off-season synapses with what the Eagles SHOULD DO this coming off-season.  Knowing the front office, NONE of these ideas will come to fruition.  But at the very least I will happily pretend that my team actually makes sensible decisions.  So take a look by clicking below:

CLICK HERE FOR ARTICLE
 

 

 

NEW EA MADDEN ROSTER UPDATE TODAY (FINALLY)

1/8/10

 

Most of my readers are similar enough to me that I assume you also play Madden and/or like the Eagles.  One way or another, there's a roster update finally coming out today (supposedly, still waiting @ 2pm EST) after a 1 month delay.  And as the Eagles ran off a nice 6 game winning streak before crapping the bed vs. the Cowboys in Week 17, I expected a nice little update for my boys. NEGATIVE!!! We only got a marginal update, especially sad considering what great seasons Desean Jackson (still only an 89) and Brent Celek (now only an 87) had offensively and how our offensive line was picked by Madden himself as a Top 5 O-line this season, but they still suck in the game (Nick Cole wasn't updated for 17 weeks and is now only a 75, and Winston Justice is only in the 70's despite a monster year out of nowhere).  Anyway, you can read the list of updates by clicking below and tell me what you think on my Facebook or Twitter page.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW LIST
 

 

EAGLES/COWBOYS SUPERFAN BATTLE ON ESPN'S FOOTBALL TODAY!!!!

1/6/10

 

Well everyone, I promised and I have delivered.  Please follow the link below to download and listen to your boy The Sports Jerk tear apart the Dallas Cowboys' Superfan Jamar Grundy on today's ESPNRadio Football Today Podcast!!! Hopefully the Eagles can do as good this Saturday against Dallas as I did today against their Superfan, because if so then we'll easily move on to the 2nd round of the playoffs.

NOTE: I come in around the 35 min, 40 sec mark

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD
 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

1/5/10

 

Happy 2010 Sports Jerk Nation, your boy is back from vacation and better than ever!!!  And to kick off the new year, I will be battling it out with the Dallas Cowboys SuperFan on ESPNRADIO's Football Today Podcast with host Jeremy Green tomorrow.  I will post the link and all the information once it's available.  That's my late Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa present for everybody, so enjoy!!!
 

 

GOING ON VACATION

12/23/09

 

Jerkoholics Unite! Happy holidays to all, and I just wanted to give everyone the heads up that myself and the Sports Fiancee' will be on vacation and away from cold and snowy New Jersey from Christmas Day through January 5th.  But when we return, I promise you guys tons of new columns, blogs, and content.  So stay warm, enjoy the holidays, and I'll see you all in 2010!!!
 

 

FANTASY FOOTBALL PLAYOFFS SUCK

12/20/09

 

What's up Jerk Nation?  Wow, that sounds even worse when I say it out loud.  Anyway, I've been running a real-life Fantasy Football Keeper league that is wrapping up Year 3 next week.  For the first two seasons, I was too cool for school and finished in last place both seasons.  I know so much about football and players that I always outsmart and second guess myself, and played good match-ups or chic pick-ups over stud players and got burned time and time again.

 

This season, I've stuck with my studs through thick and thin. How's that turned out? I finished in 1st place with a 10-3 record and all of my starters are Top 10 at their position in total points.  But now here I sit going into Sunday in the first week of the playoffs (there are only 2 weeks, as only 4 teams make the playoffs in our 10 team league) already in a steep hole.  My opponent had Peyton Manning on Thursday Night and Marion Barber last night who combined for 65 points, whereas I had Joseph Addai on Thursday Night and Kicker Garrett Hartley last night who combined for 13 points.  Needless to say, I have a whole lot of ground to make up.  Making matters worse, all my studs are either jacked up or messed up:

 

*Steven Jackson has been battling the Swine Flu and a bulging disk in his back, and will play but some guy named Keith Null is starting at QB for the Rams which means Houston will put 11 men in the box all day (and the Rams lost both starting guards on their O-line this week)

*Larry Fitzgerald sprained his knee last week and that negates his abilities against a very favorable matchup with the Lions.  Fitz is starting, but if AZ goes up early (like they should) he might ride the pine for the 2nd half.

*Tom Brady has 3 different injuries, has scored less than 15 points in 2 out of the last 3 games, and the Bills somehow have a Top 5 pass defense this season.  Not to mention we got 2 feet of snow in the northeast, and the Pats play AT Buffalo.

*Tony Gonzalez has struggled for weeks since Matt Ryan went down with injury. Ryan and RB Michael Turner are both starting today, but they play at the Jets (also snowed in) and all world corner Darrell Revis.

 

As you can see, I'm definitely in the Fantasy Playoff Weeds. Over the last 2 years, I would have benched Tom Brady for a hot Jason Campbell against a struggling Giants D or even...deep breath...Brady Quinn at crappy KC in warm weather. I'd also bench Tony Gonzo for Fred Davis, who has 4 TD's in his last 4 games and also faces the Giants D.  But this ain't last season, and I'm not going balls out.  I'm sticking with the guys who got me here, and if I lose then I go down angry by smart. If I started Jason Campbell, Arian Foster (Texans RB), and Fred Davis and lost with Brady, S-Jax, and Gonzo on my bench, you'd be reading my obituary tomorrow after I killed myself tonight.

 

Let's see if the Fantasy Gods take care of me for sticking to the script, or if I get smited once again...
 

 

EAGLES PRO-BOWL CANDIDATES

12/15/09

 

On the Football Today Podcast today on ESPN Radio they went through the weekly "Green Elevator", a.k.a. reading through all the teams in Jeremy Green's Power Rankings.  But today JG was absent, so Super-Producer (and co-host) Pod Vader read through the list for him and, after reading the news for each team, he read off the Pro-Bowl nominees as sent in by all of us Super Fans.  My Eagles list comes in with the team at Number 6, which can be found around the 35:40 mark into the show. Needless to say, we got a lot of love!!!!! Download and listen below.
 

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD
 

 

2009 SPIKE TV VIDEO GAME AWARDS: RUNNING DIARY

12/14/09

 

What's up gang? Been busy so I've neglected my blog, but I'm back and will try to post 4 or 5 times a week at least.  Anyway, I did a running Diary of the Spike TV Video Game Awards on my facebook page, so why not kick things off by making that my return post right?  Enjoy!!!

CLICK HERE TO READ!

 

 

ULTIMATE EAGLES HIGHLIGHTS - MADDEN 2010

10/20/09

 

What's up SJN? I have been slacking with the blogs, but that can be expected during football season.  Games to watch, Madden to play, etc.  Which is why I'm sliding this blog in today...click below to check out the Ultimate Eagles highlight package I put together from the clips I saved during my current franchise in Madden 2010.  Especially enjoy the ones where I destroy the crappy Giants!!!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH!

 

 

 

CATCH ME ON FOOTBALL TODAY...TODAY

9/17/09

 

Sports Jerk Nation, your boy made his official debut today on the ESPN Football Today Podcast as the certified Philadelphia Eagles Superfan!!!  Please click the link below to go to the Football Today Page and download & listen to the 9/17/09 Podcast (I come on around the 27 minute mark):

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD AND LISTEN!

 

When you listen to the segment, you'll hear mentions of "getting the podcast back on track" and "some content we couldn't put on".  Basically, I was asked to explain what I thought the key to winning the game would be for the Eagles and I said that there were 3 simple words that spelled doom for the Saints: "WHITE OUTSIDE LINEBACKERS!" Being of Caucasian decent myself, I felt that it was okay to bring this up but the producer didn't think that the ESPN sensors would agree and that part was edited out.  When I made my comment, Jeremy Green (son of former NFL Head Coach Dennis Green and the host of the show) laughed so hard that Pod Vader (the show's producer) had to pause everything and call a time out so Jeremy could literally get up off the floor and compose himself. But truth be told, besides being hilarious my point was also very true.  The Saints must have missed a few memos from the league, because the last good White OLB was Jack Hamm who retired in 1982.  And to boot the Saints don't just have one; no no no, they actually have...and to make matters worse, THEY START...TWO slow and sorry White guys at Outside Linebacker (Scott Fujita and Scott Shanle).  So with all the speedy weapons our offense has, it really won't matter who is playing QB for the Eagles on Sunday, the Saints D' is in for a loooooong day!!!

 

You all can go and listen to the rest for yourself, I don't want to spoil it for you. I'm also trying to get the edited clip from Pod Vader and I'll post it if I can.  But to address the one concern of the Saint Superfan who I absolutely housed on the show, all the information I brought to the show and spoke about was pre-prepared by me this morning (stats, notes, etc). After all, I am a professional.  However, feel free to go and check my Facebook page BY CLICKING HERE and you will see that I posted a variation of my Michael Vick/Animal Lovers/Slaughtered Panthers joke that brought the Podcast down as my facebook status on Sunday at 1:56PM as the Eagles were putting on the Panthers.  So although the joke was premeditated, it was 100% MY OWN joke and it came from my own crazy brain.  My comedy is Grade A Off-the-Hook Authentic all of the time!!!

 

Overall I think Jeremy said it best: this Podcast was the BEST Superfan Matchup EVER on Football Today...BOOYAH!!!

 

 

KICKOFF DAY NFL CHALLENGE

9/10/09

 

Okay everybody, now for some hard-hitting blogging on the part of myself, the Sports Pop, and the Sports Pup (a.k.a. Madden NFL 10').  Below you will see all of our picks for the division winners, wildcard teams, conference champions, Superbowl champion, Offensive & Defensive MVP's, Coach of the Year, and Offensive & Defensive Rookies of the Year.  In the words of Madden himself, BOOM!!!

 

PREDICTIONS
Sports Jerk
Sports Pop
Sports Puppy
AFC EAST CHAMPIONS Patriots Patriots Patriots
AFC NORTH CHAMPIONS Steelers Steelers Steelers
AFC SOUTH CHAMPIONS Indianapolis Titans Jaguars
AFC WEST CHAMPIONS Chargers Chargers Chargers
AFC WILDCARD TEAMS Bills, Bengals Colts, Dolphins Ravens, Broncos
NFC EAST CHAMPIONS Eagles Eagles Eagles
NFC NORTH CHAMPIONS Packers Vikings Packers
NFC SOUTH CHAMPIONS Saints Saints Falcons
NFC WEST CHAMPIONS Seahawks Cardinals Cardinals
NFC WILDCARD TEAMS Vikings, Cowboys Giants, Falcons Cowboys, Seahawks
AFC CONFERENCE CHAMPION Chargers Chargers Chargers
NFC CONFERENCE CHAMPION Eagles Eagles Eagles
SUPERBOWL CHAMPION Eagles Chargers Eagles
COACH OF THE YEAR Andy Reid Norv Turner Ken Whisenhunt
LEAGUE MOST VALUABLE PLAYER Drew Brees Philip Rivers Tom Brady
OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR Drew Brees Larry Fitzgerald Tom Brady
DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR Shawne Merriman James Harrison Patrick Willis
OFFENSIVE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR Beanie Wells Mark Sanchez Matt Stafford
DEFENSIVE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR Aaron Curry Nick Reed Aaron Curry

 

 

WELCOME TO SEPTEMBER

9/1/09

 

What's up SJN, are you as ready for some football as I am?  I've spent the last 2 weeks resting up for a major push to the website as we switch back to our NFL-heavy front page and format.  Once again we will have our weekly Sports Picks, my weekly Fantasy Football advice and thoughts from each week, and much more.

 

Also, anybody interested in playing me in Madden 2010 for Playstation 3, send me a friend request. My username is VENOMtheKING.

 

Aside from that, keep checking back to the site everyday for the new content and let's get ready for another Superbowl run from my Eagles!!!

 

 

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES SUPERFAN!!!

8/14/09

 

Sports Jerk Nation, I got some great news for you all.  Today I was on the "Football Today" Podcast with Jeremy Green on ESPN Radio's Podcenter battling against the incumbent representative for the Eagles fan base to become the 2009 Philadelphia Eagle's Superfan.  Needless to say, your boy made it happen and I took the guy down.  He did a great job, so shout out to him as well as thank you for faithfully repping the birds for the last year.  But now it is The Sports Jerk's time to shine and represent for the E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Here is the link to the Football Today Podcast, which you should download and listen to everyday (Note: I'm on the 8/14/09 edition and come on at about the 43 minute mark): CLICK HERE

 

And if you would like to directly download and listen,  RIGHT CLICK HERE and choose "save as" to download the MP3.

 

 

R.I.P. JIM JOHNSON

7/30/09

 

Sorry for the somber message here Sports Jerkers, but I must pay respect where it is due. Jim Johnson, the legendary Eagles Defensive Coordinator and the man almost single handedly responsible for making the Eagles defense vaunted and one of the best in the league over the last decade, has lost his battle with Cancer and passed away. The Eagles announced last week that the D-Coordinator spot was being filled with one of J.J.'s top assistants on a permanent basis, but nothing that was said even hinted at the fact that Jim was on death's door step. In all my years as a fan of the NFL, I can't even almost think of a coordinator who was more important to his team's overall success than Jim. He will be greatly missed by everyone who ever knew him, met him, or rooted for the Birds. Join me for one last chant in his memory: E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

BUEHRLE IS THE BEST

7/25/09

 

After taking a month and some change off, I am back and ready to blog. And what better way to start then by commenting on my Chicago White Sox and their ace Mark Buehrle, who just threw a PERFECT GAME!!! This marks MARK'S 2nd flawless performance in his vastly underrated career, after having already thrown a No-Hitter in April of 2007.  At the age of 30 years old, Buehrle has a career record of 133-90 and has won at least 10 games in EVERY season since 2001, while averaging a whopping 16 wins per season over that 8 year span.  He also has 24 career complete games, 8 career shutouts, over 1100 career strikeouts, and a career ERA of 3.76. This year Mark has already won 11 games against just 3 losses.

 

The real question is, why doesn't this guy get more credit? Outside of myself and President Barack, nobody seems to care about Buehrle or give him a second thought when it comes to ranking the best pitchers.  Since he has a fastball that maxes out in the high 80's on his best day, Buehrle doesn't give excite fans with a high strikeout rate or any fanciness.  Instead, he has quietly been one of the most...if not THEE MOST efficient pitcher of the last decade.  Besides the Perfect Game and no-hitter, and all the wins stats stated above, Mark has been an absolute work-horse at the top of the Sox rotation for the last 8 years.  He has started at least 30 games and pitched at least 200 innings in each of the last 8 seasons, and in 2004 he led the American League in innings pitched (245 1/3), starts (35), and complete games (5), and remarkably pitched at least 6 innings in each of his last 28 starts (a streak that continued and lasted through 2/3 of the next season and ultimately ended up being an insane 49 starts of at least 6 innings pitched...and it was ended when he was ejected in a game for beaning someone)!!!  In 2005, after an injury to Roy Halladay, Buehrle was the starting pitcher for the American League in the All-Star game.  He pitched 2 scoreless innings, stuck out 3 of the 6 batters he faced, and was the game's winning pitcher.  Overall Buehrle has made the All-Star game 4 times, including this season where he pitched a perfect 3rd inning in a game the AL won.

 

As you can, Buehrle is a beast.  If he can average 16 wins per season for the next 10 years, he may very well be the next pitcher to hit 300 career wins, a feat that we may not see achieved by anyone in the next decade.  When all is said and done, Buehrle should end up in 2 very important places: entrenched in the heart of all White Sox fans as our best Starting Pitcher EVER, and if everything continues as it has, in the hall of fame!!!

 

 

J-UPT FOR MVP

6/03/09

 

Sorry TSJ-Nation for the delay in posts, works been hard and I been on vacay for the last 2 weeks.  But I thought I'd chime in with my happiness surrounding Justin Upton finally making headway towards his proper path, that being to become the next Barry Bonds (sans steroids).  And I'm not just saying this because he's on my fantasy team, but Justin Upton is a legit NL MVP candidate at this point.  He had possibly the best May in baseball, and has provided some slim hope for D-Back fans.

 

If only brother BJ...also on my fantasy team...could pick things up too?

 

 

MAN-RAM = MAN-BANNED

5/08/09

 

By now everyone on the planet knows that Manny Ramirez has tested positive for a banned substance and is suspended for the next 50 games from Baseball.  But what is the worst part: that the substance was a woman's fertility drug, or that it is commonly used by people AFTER cycling steroids to re-start their testosterone cycle?  Assuming Manny didn't get jealous at the Octo-mom stealing all the headlines and isn't trying to get pregnant himself, I'll go with option B.  And to think that the Dodgers were already running away with the division, what now? Time will tell...

 

 

BIRTHDAY BLOG

5/04/09

 

What's up Sports Jerk Nation?  Sorry for the lack of updates, baseball is just getting rolling and the NFL has been mostly dull since the Draft ended.  And I'm not a big NBA guy, so I don't have many opinions one way or another about the Playoffs.  I did want to post something on my birthday, as I turned the big 2-9 today.  One more year and I will officially be 3-Dimes old.  I am officially ready for a mid-life crisis if you ask me, what do you think?  Anyway, here are a few quick observations:

 

*Zach Greinke has pretty much locked down the Cy Young already in the American League and it's the first week of May. Sure glad I snagged him in my fantasy baseball league (in the 10th round no less)!

 

*Is there any doubt the NBA Finals will be what everyone has wanted to see for the last 3 years, and that's Kobe Vs. Lebron?  The Lakers have a better supporting cast, but King James looks unstoppable right now so that series could go either way.

 

*The Eagles still would have been better suited trading our 1st round pick for Bolden or Braylon than getting Maclin.  For the 1 billionth time, if you are going to use that pick and spend that much money, why not get the sure thing (a.k.a. a proven Stud WR) as opposed to take a chance?

 

*Manny Pacquiao flat out WHOOPED Ricky Hatton's ARSH!!!!  I'm pretty sure that Hatton won't be able to eat solid foods for 6 months at least. Take that England....video below (two knock downs in the 1st round, TKO'ed with a CRAZY Left Hook at 2:59 in the 2nd round):

 

 

 

EAGLES MOVES THROUGH THE NFL DRAFT

4/26/09

 

There is a lot to cover, so let's just get into it.

 

Although Maclin was a great value where we got him, if the Eagles wanted to spend a 1st round pick on a Wide Out, you HAVE TO get a proven commodity and grab either Anquan Boldin or Braylon Edwards.  Say what you want, but Maclin is 20 years old and needs a lot of molding before he will be good.  The Eagles will have McNabb for 2 more years at most, so by the time both DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin hit their strides, we will be rebuilding with Kevin Kolb or someone else at the helm.  Think about this pick and what it means.  We have Kevin Curtis lined up at our #1 receiver slot, where most teams #1 Corners can play him man to man.  This enables teams to double team our #2 receiver in Jackson, taking away his big play speed capabilities.  Then we have some variety of Jason Avant, Maclin, Hank Baskett, or Reggie Brown being manned up in the slot, which will move the chains but doesn't scare that many people.  Now imagine this scenario instead.  We have Anquan Boldin as our #1 wide out, and defenses need to double team him.  That leaves DeSean Jackson 1 on 1 at our #2 spot, and Kevin Curtis Curtis running freely out of the slot a la Wes Welker 2 years ago with the Patriots.  That kind of line-up would have every defensive coordinator CRINGING!!!  It makes sense...

 

With that said, we have Maclin and he is an extreme talent so I hope he works out.  Thanks to Al Davis for once again being a degenerate and reaching for a Fast bumb (a.k.a. Troy Williamson 2.0), allowing us to get him.  In the 2nd round, we used our pick to grab LeSean "Shady" McCoy, the Running Back out of Pittsburgh.  One of my boys Chad has been trying to convince me he will be great for the last hour, and I have faith in his opinion.  But ultimate we already have 1 real Brian Westbrook and 1 knockoff version (Booker), so drafting a very similar back is pointless.  You can try to argue that our offense will have the same abilities when Westbrook is getting a breather or, as has been the case far too often, is on the sidelines with an injury.  However I still think we would have been better suited grabbing Beanie Wells in the 1st round, if not instead just getting Tight End Brandon Pettigrew in the 1st, using our 2nd round pick in a package for Boldin, and grabbing Shonn Greene out of Iowa in the 3rd round.  Or we could have sent our 2nd round pick last week for Tony Gonzalez, gotten Maclin in the 1st round, and taken Shonn Green in the 3rd.  There are tons of possibilities, and out of all the scenarios that could have played out, we ended up with the one that has the most question marks.  Will Maclin become a good WR?  Will McCoy be a good RB?  Will Cornelius Ingram (who we just drafted in the 5th round) be a good TE?  Too much to think about, too early to speculate...I'd much rather have some sure things to count on.

 

So let's take a real look at the off-season including the draft. Thus far we have upgraded at offensive tackle (Peters and Andrews are younger and stronger than Thomas and Runyan were) and fullback (Weaver will be a nice addition), broke even at Cornerback (Hobbs is a great kick returner and is younger and faster than Sheldon Brown,who may get traded now after being a baby; Lito wanted to leave and was on the bench; and we will finally get last year's 3rd round pick Jack Ikegwuonu on the field, who would have potentially gone in the 1st round if he didn't get hurt), and we got younger but downgraded overall at Safety (Dawkins meant more to the team off the field, but was still a solid player and a star; Quentin Demps isn't ready to start yet and Sean Jones played decently for a bad team; Sean Considine will be missed on special teams).  As for the draft, we are coming away with a 20 year old Wide-out with tremendous upside who immediately will only be our #4 wide receiver in Maclin, a backup running back in McCoy, a backup tight end coming off a serious injury in Cornelius Ingram, another promising Cornerback in Victor "Macho" Harris to add depth at the position, and whatever we scrape up in the 6th and 7th round.

 

Overall, we definitely got younger, and arguably we got better.  But truth be told, we could have gotten a lot better had the Eagles did what was truly best for the team now.  Instead, they once again have tried to be "too cool for school" and made 6 million small trades that at the end most likely won't add up to much.  The season is still about 5 months away, so there are still moves to make.  Hopefully the Birds will do at least 1 or 2 more transactions before the first snap happens.  Knowing Banner & Reid though, I highly doubt they will make any significant ones.....AWESOME!

 

 

TOO GOOD TO LAST: SHELDON BROWN ACTS A FOOL

4/21/09

 

What can you say about Sheldon Brown? Stable, reliable, hard hitting...he was Lito Sheppard without the interceptions and injuries.  He was the player I thought should have been moved to Free Safety after we lost Dawkins (if you make that position change in Madden he goes from a 90 overall rated Corner to a 99 overall rated FS), barring we kept Lito Sheppard or signed a good young #2 Corner like Jabari Greer or a short term deal with a sturdy veteran corner like Chris McCallister or Mike McKenzie.  But instead of any of that, and after us Eagles fans finally get a ray of hope shined on us with the blockbuster trade for Jason Peters, good old stable & reliable Sheldon Brown destroys our bliss by going public with his unhappiness over his contract.

 

Usually I take the players side 99.99999% of the time in contract squabbles.  I thought the Eagles should have paid Corey Simon, and upgraded T.O.'s contract after the Superbowl.  Hell, last year I thought they should have re-upped Lito's deal as well.  But in this situation with this player, I have to back the Birds.  Sheldon still has FOUR (4) YEARS LEFT ON HIS DEAL!!!  Not one, not even two or three, but four!  The Eagles were more than happy to let Lito & Sheldon cash in early without having proven much to warrant their big-money extensions amidst their rookie deals.  Both players grew into strong starting CB's in the league, with Lito becoming a Pro-Bowler and Sheldon being regarded as the unsung hero of our secondary.  Now, after we brought in Asante last year, locked up our wonderful nickel corner Joselio up for years to come, and shipped out Lito earlier this offseason for 10 cents on the dollar to the Jets, everything finally seemed to be in order with the defense (assuming the Quintin Demps/Sean Jones combination will work out at Free Safety).  We were going to add some obvious depth through the draft, but all of our starting spots were locked up and with the potential new comers to the offense, the Birds were starting to show up some pre-season championship form.

 

But Sheldon instead decided the time was right to act a fool and ruin everything.  Lets not forget who Sheldon Brown is.  He is a sturdy Cornerback.  Is he a playmaker? No.  Is he a Pro-bowler? No.  Has he ever been the best Corner on the team? Debatable, but I'd say no (definately not now as Asante is easily better and one can argue Joselio makes more plays).  I don't want to hear the nonsense argument that nobody throws to Sheldon's side, which is why he doesn't have many picks and at the same time is why Lito always did.  Sheldon is a respectable corner, still in the first few years of a long-term extension, making somewhere around $5 million dollars per season.  And with most of America struggling through a recession and just trying to keep a roof over their head, Sheldon Brown thinks now is the good time to complain about how his decent skills are better than the $5 mil a year he is being paid?  Like I said, I normally back the players because at any point a team can and will cut a player to save money.  But in this situation, Sheldon is wrong and the Eagles are right.

 

What's the solution?  I say package Sheldon, our 1st Round pick in the draft (#21), and maybe a 3rd Rounder next year together and send that to Arizona for Anquan Boldin and ex-Eagles Rod Hood.  We need that stud Wide Receiver to complete our offense and have enough money to make him happy, and the Cardinals need to upgrade their defensive backfield some and can use the extra 1st round pick to get a pass rushing DE/OLB hybrid player, as there are a ton of them in the draft.  Then they can use their own 1st round pick to grab one of the many quality WR's that are on the board.  Everybody wins...except for Sheldon, who won't realize what a great situation he was in until he's gone....

 

GOOD RIDDANCE!

 

 

NFL Schedule Released

4/14/09

 

Is it me, or is anybody else curious about how the Chicago Bears were able to pull off the Jay Cutler deal and then get the easiest schedule in the NFL (CLICK HERE to see the NFL schedule strength rankings) despite going 9-7 last year and finishing 1 game out of the playoffs?  Isn't our President Barack Obama from Chicago, or at least representing there?  First his NCAA pick UNC wins the whole thing, now his bears are getting all the breaks possible....hopefully this bodes well for his prediction that my White Sox will win the World Series!!!

 

Anyway, CLICK HERE if you'd like to see every NFL team's schedule.  For my fellow Eagles fans, I will only post the 2009 Birds schedule here.  Although it's ranked the 9th hardest in the league based on 2008 records, I still feel confident that with a good draft we can still rule the NFC East this coming year!!!  My early prediction is that we fill finish with 12 wins (at Panthers, vs. Saints, vs. Chiefs, vs. Buccaneers, at Raiders, vs. Giants, vs. Cowboys, at Bears, vs. Redskins, at Falcons, vs. 49ers, vs. Broncos) and 4 losses (at Chargers, at Redskins, at Giants, at Cowboys), which should be good enough to lock up Home Field Advantage at the Linc!!!

 

Note: I always estimate we will split with our NFC East enemies.

 

2009 Philadelphia Eagles Schedule:

Wk

Date

Matchup

Time (ET)

1

Sun. Sep. 13

at Panthers

1:00 PM

2

Sun. Sep. 20

vs. Saints

1:00 PM

3

Sun. Sep. 27

vs. Chiefs

1:00 PM

4

Sun. Oct. 04

BYE

5

Sun. Oct. 11

vs. Buccaneers

1:00 PM

6

Sun. Oct. 18

at Raiders

4:05 PM

7

Mon. Oct. 26

at Redskins

8:30 PM

8

Sun. Nov. 01

vs. Giants

4:15 PM

9

Sun. Nov. 08

vs. Cowboys

8:20 PM

10

Sun. Nov. 15

at Chargers

4:15 PM

11

Sun. Nov. 22

at Bears

8:20 PM

12

Sun. Nov. 29

vs. Redskins

1:00 PM

13

Sun. Dec. 06

at Falcons

1:00 PM

14

Sun. Dec. 13

at Giants

8:20 PM

15

Sun. Dec. 20

vs. 49ers

1:00 PM

16

Sun. Dec. 27

vs. Broncos

1:00 PM

17

Sun. Jan. 03

at Cowboys

1:00 PM

 

 

MLB Predictions

4/1/09

 

All right everybody, although Football is my life, I still have some love for the MLB (specifically my Chi-Sox).  With that said, allow me to offer up my projections for this coming MLB Season:

 

American League Winners:

AL East = Rays, AL Central = White Sox, AL West = A's, Wildcard = Red Sox

American League Champs = Rays

AL MVP = Evan Longoria

AL Cy Young = Roy Halladay

AL ROY = Chris Getz, 2B (White Sox)

 

National League Winners:

NL East = Marlins, NL Central = Cubs, NL West = Dodgers, Wildcard = Mets

National League Champs = Dodgers

NL MVP = Hanley Ramirez

NL Cy Young = Johan Santana

NL ROY = Colby Rasmus, OF (Cardinals)

 

World Series = Rays over Dodgers (in 6 games)

 

 

MARCH MADNESS = MARCH SADNESS

3/22/09

 

Back in the day I was a huge NBA fan, and a big college basketball fan as well. I remember how my favorite team the Arkansas Razorbacks would loose every year to the stupid UNLV Running Rebels and Jerry Tark-Cheat-kanian.  But over the last 10 years my interest in basketball has slowly wained to the point where I don't even watch the NBA playoffs until the Finals or March Madness until the Final Four. As for the NBA, once my favorite two players of all time (Larry Johnson & Nick Van Exel) retired, the NBA draft turned into five hours of selecting foreign players who I've never heard of with names I can't pronounce, and the league turned toward stupidity by way of how the NBA salary cap system works led to teams trading All-Star caliber players for bumbs with expiring contracts, I stopped caring.  As for the NCAA, we went through a few years of every good high school player (and some not-so-good kids with hype) jumping straight to the pros followed by an NBA rule change that delayed this process by 1 year and led to all these same good high school players going to college for 1 year and then jumping to the pros, college b-ball stopped being interesting as well.

 

So here we are in 2009, right smack dab in the heart of "March Madness", and take a look at the Sweet 16: all four #1 seeds, all four #2 seeds, all four #3 seeds, and the last four spots being held down by two #4 seeds, one #5, and the lone possible "Cinderella" left in the field, one #12 seed (and when you factor in that it is Arizona, they are a long standing successful program).  My question is simple, WHERE IS THE EXCITEMENT??? There were fewer surprises in the first two rounds than in any years I can remember, and we basically have all the top seeded teams shooting through to the sweet 16.  To be honest, I didn't even fill out a bracket this year and I don't regret it in the least.  Someone wake me up when North Carolina wins.....not that I want them to, but why not ride with Obama right?

 

 

DID THE EAGLES REALLY MAKE A SENSIBLE MOVE?

3/20/09

 

I'm sorry, but I think the Eagles actually just signed a player who is an actual upgrade in a position of need that the fans wanted them to make...okay who are you guys and what did you do with Joe Banner and Andy Reid?  Seriously, these sort of moves never happen.  Even when the Eagles have made splashes in free agency (i.e. Asante Samuel last year and Jevon Kearse a few years back), they usually added a big name player in a position that we already had covered.  Don't get me wrong, both of those moves were good. But a happy Lito Sheppard would have done just as well last year as Asante did, and the Eagles let a budding start in Derrick Burgess walk away only to pay double for Jevon Kearse and then watch him suffer injury after injury until he finally limped back to the Titans last season. In acquiring former Seahawks Fullback Leonard Weaver, not only will we have a player more than capable of clearing a nice path for stud Running Back Brian Westbrook, but Eagles Management finally gave up on the idea that they could convince their fans that a combination of D-Tackle turned Fullback Dan Klecko and New England cast-off Kyle Eckel were a suitable combo to man the Fullback position. Granted, this move alone isn't enough to even remotely win back the trust of us diehard Birds fans that have been kicked in the groin and spit on over the last few years, but it IS a start.

 

Now if only Tory Holt was coming for a visit....

 

 

 

LIONS MAY HAVE A DOLPHIN-ESQUE TURNAROUND IN STORE FOR US

3/15/09

 

Let's be honest for a minute, shall we? Who on this entire planet thought that the hapless Miami Dolphins could follow up a horrendous 1 win and 15 losses 2007 NFL season by changing managers, overhauling their entire roster, and bounce back well past just being respectable and going all the way to a division title and the playoffs in 2008? If anyone raised their hands, you are a dirty liar and will burn in hell! Nobody from Bill Parcells on down expected the kind of success the Dolphins saw after what was almost the first 0-16 season in NFL history.

 

The funny thing is that there was actually an even more amazing story last year than the Dolphin's miracle turnaround, and that was the Detroit Lions actually going through with and achieving....check that, super UNDER-ACHEIVING.... a ZERO win and 16 loss season.  And although lightning doesn't strike twice as they say, the Detroit Lions have pretty much followed the Dolphins 2007 to 2008 transition VERBATIM!

 

Let's take a look, shall we:

 

1) New GM, CHECK !

2) New Head Coach, CHECK !

3) Cut/Release/Trade Several Overpaid Veterans, CHECK CHECK CHECK !

4) Bring in Quality Players via Free Agency and/or Trades, CHECK !

5) Have a strong Draft, To Be Determined...

6) Win your division and go to the Playoffs the Very next season, To Be Determined...

 

All I can say right now is that the Lions have brought in some players arguably better than the ones that the Dolphins brought in last offseason (such as Julian Peterson, Maurice Morris, Philip Buchanon, Grady Jackson, Bryant Johnson, etc) and they have a much easier division to play in than the Dolphins do. NFC North and overall NFL, beware!!!

 

CAN WE GET SOME BIG GAME TORY HOLT IN PHILLY PLEASE???

3/14/09

 

First off, sorry for the lack of recent blogs all my TSJ fans, but I've been extremely busy lately. Sadly the Philadelphia Eagles have been anything but busy during the same time period. All I can say is that the Birds Brass has completely blown their green load so far in free agency thus far, but all will be forgiven if you go out and sign Tory "Big Game" Holt immediately. I will be happy, every other Eagles fan will be happy, and more importantly for you knuckleheads, Donovan F. McNabb will be happy. If you think Kevin Curtis & DeSean Jackson have been productive already, imagine them each getting single coverage on every single play while defenses shade coverage Holt's way. Sure he's over 30, but Holt has always been very effective at avoiding Big Hits and injuries so he still has plenty of tread on his tires and with a team that has Super bowl aspirations, he can definitely come in and be a major contributor. I get that you didn't want to dump all your money into T.J. Hous-a-manilly because he's never been a proven #1 wide out. Holt has, is, and will still be a #1 for years to come, and we need him in the City of Brotherly Love, period.

 

NOW GO MAKE IT HAPPEN DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

EAGLES SCRAMBLING WITH THEIR MOUTHS; NOT THEIR WALLETS

3/5/09

 

Can someone please let the Eagles uppity-ups that "taking the high road" in regards to losing Brian Dawkins will not appease, win over, or do anything to die-hard Eagle fans other than make them more enraged? Actions speak louder than words, and in the last few days all we've heard is yap yap yap while no checks have been cut to improve the team. I'm already on board with changing the fight song to "Why Eagles Why..." at this point, who's with me? I don't even know where to start with this stupidity. The Eagles finished 1 game away from the Superbowl and without making any moves to get better, we have slowly gotten worse by losing player after player. First we let Dawkins bounce for Denver, killing the morale of the team and the fan base in the process.  Then we basically gave away former 1st round pick and 2-time Pro Bowl Cornerback (who is just entering his prime no less) Lito Sheppard to the Jets for what ultimately may end up just being a 5th round pick; word just came out that if he doesn't play 85% of the snaps this year and the Jets cut him after the season, they are not on the hook to give us another pick next year. And even though he lost his starting job, safety Sean Considine was a key special-teamer for us last season and he's off to Jacksonville. Then we let solid back-up running back Correll Buckhalter head to Denver as well (actually he signed before Dawkins), and pretty much the team publicly stated that they have no intentions of signing either of our starting offensive tackles who have been on the team and in their spots for years. Meanwhile, we only have signed one free agent...right tackle Stacy Andrews...who is a player that had a down season for the crappy Bengals last year after being franchised and is coming off major surgery that ended his season. If anything he will probably be equal to Jon Runyan and, although he's younger, is not nearly as nasty (despite what the Eagles brass is claiming) and cost double what it would have took to resign Runyan back. The only potential upside to getting Stacy is that he is the brother of our stud-turned-head case starting right guard Shawn Andrews, and hopefully having his brother around will ward off his depressions issues, although I doubt he can fix his brother's back and weight problems.

 

Here is the thing though: the NFC East is once again ours for the taking. We finished 2nd in the division last year, but finished the season strong by beating the division winning Giants twice in the span of a month including the playoffs before losing to the red-hot Cardinals in the NFC Championship game. Both the Giants & Cowboys have lost their star offensive weapons (Plaxico is going to jail and T.O. was just cut), and the Redskins have proven that all their big profile free agents always flame out so they are of no concern. With that said, we could have just kept our team intact and added some draft picks and possibly have won the NFC. At this juncture we are a significantly worse team on and off the field because of the team's inactions so far. But all can be fixed with a few easy steps, especially considering the 40 million dollars or so we are under the cap. Here is what we need to do:

 

1) Sign free agent corner Shawn Springs (who is currently visiting) and move him to Free Safety. He won't come anywhere close to replacing Dawk off the field, but in the grand scheme of things could probably play better this year on the field.

 

2) Sign free agent corner Jabari Greer and let him & Joselio Hanson battle it out for the starting job opposite Asante at corner.

 

3) Trade corner Sheldon Brown and whatever draft pick it would take (3rd, maybe 2nd) to Arizona for stud wideout Anquan Boldin.

 

4) Use our two 1st round draft picks on a potential stud offensive tackle and a game-breaking running back to spell Westbrook (Knowshon Moreno would fit nicely and should be available); then use the rest of our picks to fill out the team.

 

5) Win the Superbowl!!!

 

I know that seems to easy to work, but in actuality all those moves are plausible, capable of being made, and it truly JUST MIGHT BE THAT EASY!!! We could play a healed-up and non-depressed Shawn Andrews at Left Tackle, Stacy Andrew at his more natural/dominant position of Right Guard, and stick our rookie 1st rounder at Right Tackle, giving us one of the best offensive lines in the league. Our defense would be sured up and equal to...if not better...than last year's group. And our offense would be much better, with McNabb having great protection, a killer 1-2 punch at tailback with Westbrook & Moreno running through big holes that will be created by said good o-line, and a stud Wide out in Boldin allowing Desean Jackson to be our deep threat and Kevin Curtis moving to his natural spot of slot receiver, which in the process would give McNabb the "weapons" he has been rallying for and allowing him to sign a new contract. And like I said above, we would be Superbowl bound for sure.

 

Unfortunately, knowing the trained apes we have running the team, very few of these moves will be attempted much less actually happen. And as it stands now, we could very well fall back to the bottom of the NFC East and will probably trade both of our 1st round picks to move up and draft a player that will never pan out anyway (cough cough JEROME MCDOUGLE cough cough). Sadly as fans, all we can do is sadly watch, and miserably wait in the meantime while our on-the-cusp-of-Championship-Team-Ship crashes into an invisible iceberg built by poor management...

 

 

FREE AGENCY BEGINS; EAGLES SEASON ALREADY ENDS

2/27/09

 

If you are a fan of my columns, you know 3 fundamental facts: 1) I love NFL Football more than life itself, 2) I am a diehard Eagles Fan, and finally 3) I hate the Eagles Organization with a passion!!! Nothing I can say or do myself, and as you probably know already I am very dangerous with a pen (or keyboard), can better prove how sorry the Eagles' organization has become than what occurred today at the outset of free agency. Not only have we not signed any impact players, despite our "franchise Quarterback" demanding that they make moves if they want him to sign a new contract (note: read below to see my personal feelings on McNabb; that withstanding, the Eagles love him for some reason so you'd think they would listen to the man right?). And if you think Stacy Andrews counts, a man who was a 79 rating in Madden by the year end ratings with the sorry ass Bengals no less, then you don't know jack squat about football.  No, not only did the Eagles fail to add anyone who matters to the team, but they allowed the heart and soul of our entire team...much less the defense...walk off into the Denver sunset for no reason at all.  Allow my message below that I spammed all over the Eagles official website to explain better:

 

Eagles brass, listen up. YOU SUCK BAHAMA BALLS!!! You are 40 million dollars under the salary cap. So what if Dawkins is getting old, do you have ANY loyalty? Some players quality and importance cannot be measured in X's & O's. Good luck in 2009 when the defense falls apart. I've spent well over $10,000 in the last 7 years on tickets, jerseys, concessions, etc. You will never get a dime from me again because you obviously don't care about anyone, fans included. I hope Andy Reid chokes on his next cheesesteak, and Joe Banner gets gangbanged by some AIDS monkeys!!!!

 

As for the best of the rest:

 

 

I will post another blog tomorrow with further updates. Hopefully I will be able to say that TJ Houshmandzadeh, Ray Lewis, Jim Leonard, Chris Canty, and Kurt Warner all signed with the Eagles. I'm sure that won't happen, but a Sports Jerk can dream can't he? Maybe not :(

 

 

MCDONALDS INTRODUCES A NEW SANDWICH: THE MCNABB

2/24/09

 

Word came from Mickey D's headquarters today that they will be releasing a new sandwich to all their restaurants in the Philadelphia Market. This new sandwich will be made out of 100% chicken, with the meat taken only from those birds that are so dumb they refuse to run (away from the butcher). The sandwich will come on only one piece of wheat toast with a giant "#5" molded on the bottom. It has no top in order to allow the sandwich to breath...something McNabb struggled with in his lone Superbowl appearance...and has a special sauce made of ketchup, mayonnaise, and a small amount of the delicious flavor you get from mixing the tears of McNabb fantasy football owners with that clear liquid found in an I-V. Also there will be a crutch shaped toothpick through the middle of the sandwich to help keep it standing up, and it will come in a Big-Mac box colored Eagles Green. The sandwich should hit select stores in April for the price of $100 million dollars each, or in other words, probably the biggest waste of money ever. When TSJ.com reached out to Donovan McNabb for comment, he demanded a new contract first and then refused to sign it.

 

 

KEEP THE BALL ROLLING ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

 

With Playoff hopes still alive and Cleveland stumbling into town with their 3rd string QB starting and their best weapon (K2) now playing, the Birds should flat out destroy the Browns tonight on Monday Night Football.  If only it was that easy people.  McNabb looks to be back on steady ground, Westbrook has played the last 2 weeks like everyone expected him to play all year, and we once again have a Top 5 Defense.  Not to mention that we have made a habit of late December dominance, including last years defeat-less December streak that ended us with a .500 record.  Hell overall since the year 2000, the Eagles are 25-10 in December under Andy "I Still Want Him Fired" Reid.  But with a trip to play the hated Redskins next week followed by a season ending home game against the even MORE hated Cowboys in Philly, we can only hope the Birds don't have a case of looking past the lowly Browns and their dead-man-walking Head Coach, Romeo Crennel a.k.a. Carl Winslow (from Family Matters) b.k.a. Cleveland (from Family Guy, which is fitting considering he coaches there).  The key to the last 2 Eagle victories has been a dedication to the run game and domination by both lines.  When all is said and done, the Birds should simply outclass the Browns and pull out a victory.  However we would be much better suited to stomp them out in blowout fashion, serving notice to the rest of the league that if we make the playoffs, whoever gets to face us will have their hands full in the worst f'in way!!!

 

 

BACK ON TRACK: BRIAN WESTBROOK & PHILADELPHIA EAGLES EDITION

 

The only thing that beats sitting in great seats at Lincoln Financial Field watching your team throttle a sure-to-be playoff team on Thanksgiving (with a full belly of home cooking), is watching 3 players in the game that are on your fantasy team go hog wild in the process!  Brian Westbrook finally got back on track with FOUR, count them, FOUR Touchdowns and well over 100+ total yards.  DeSean Jackson also finally got into the End Zone for only the 2nd time this year.  And for 2 of the 3 TD's that the visiting Cardinals scored to come courtesy of Larry "Also on my Fantasy Team" Fitzgerald, well that made each of those scores that much easier to drink down.  Yes, the game was a complete blowout and everything was completely perfect, sans the HORRENDOUS officiating courtesy of a bunch of idiots who were obviously trying to keep the game close for TV Ratings purposes (Eagles jumped to a 21-0 lead and AZ was stopped on 3rd and goal, only for a bogus flag to give them an automatic 1st down which lead to their first score).  Fortunately, the Eagles kept their foot on the accelerator and kept scoring instead of trying to play it safe, so the terrible Refs didn't get a chance to ruin things too much.  Also, the much maligned Donovan McNabb got busy to the tune of 4 TD passes and a bunch of yards.  But the key to his success all night is that he finally started to RUN again.  Hey, maybe he read my column from earlier this week and got the hint.  You can't factor out that the Cardinals don't travel well and are a hot weather team coming to the depths of chilly hell in Philadelphia (it was in the high 20's, low 30's last night).  Either way, all in all it was a great game and put hope back into all of us Eagles fans!!!

 

 

ANDY REID SMOKES HIS SONS' CRACK

 

Between sitting back and idly watching while looking like a giant Milk Dud in his all black fat-man suit as Osi Umenyora single-handedly dominated Winston Justice and the Eagles a few weeks back, to doing the exact same thing while looking the exact same way as the Eagles offense decided to throw incomplete passes which repeatedly stopped the clock despite having the lead and the ball late in the 4th quarter (with me on hand, angrily sitting and stewing in my End Zone seats with The Sports Fiancé by my side) this past Sunday, I'm 100% CONVINCED that Andy Reid's sons were merely pawns in the cases they caught, sent by there father to fetch Crack for him to smoke.  I used to think that all Crack heads were skinny, until The Sports Bro's childhood hero Shawn "The Reign Man" Kemp proved that fat and crack go together.  And I've noticed a terrible pattern of downward spiraling, stupid decisions that have been made ever since the Superbowl loss by the Birds a few years back.  It all makes sense if you think about it: year after year of losing in the NFC Championship game, followed by finally getting to the Superbowl and losing, then dealing with the whole T.O. situation during an injury ravaged year where they finished last in the NFC East.  At some point during that time, Andy Reid simply couldn't take it and turned to Crack.  And ever since then, the fate of the Eagles has taken a turn for the absolute worse.

 

 

HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS

 

It's really fun when you are a fan of a certain teams (in my case, the Philly Eagles) and you find yourself rooting for a division rival to win, knowing good and damn well it serves your team better for them to lose.  But this is exactly where I found myself late in the 4th quarter of Monday nights Cowboys @ Bills game.  What an ending, what a game, and more importantly, what a win as the still undefeated Cowboys welcome the equally undefeated New England Patriots to Big D for a critical Week 6 matchup.  As for the game though, has there been a more exciting game yet in this young season?  Dallas scored with under a minute left and down by 8, only to miss the potential game-typing 2 point conversion attempt as Terrell Owens had a fade route right into his arms and chest knocked away by a Bills defender.  The Cowboys then proceeded to perfectly execute an onside kick and get the ball with around 30 seconds and no timeouts left at midfield trailing by 2.  After a critical dropped pass by TO left them with around 13 seconds and 20 yards to go just to get into reasonable field goal range for rookie kicker Nick Folk, back-to-back out routes to Marion Barber and Patrick Crayton respectively set Folk up for a game ending, career long 53 yard field goal attempt.  As has happened in 2 other games already this year thanks to a stupid rule, the Cowboys lined up, snapped the ball, and Nick Folk nailed it only to have the referees reveal that Buffalo called a timeout right before the kick.  However, unlike what happened for Oakland and Cleveland, they lined up again and Folk booted the ball right down the middle a second time, lifting Dallas to an amazing win and further destroying Bills fans everywhere.  And in what equates to a stomach-turning moment whenever I think back to it, I was actually impressed and happy that Dallas won the game and went to bed not realizing how disgusting and stupid I had just behaved.  So goes the world my friends...

 


MLB POST-SEASON PREDICTIONS

 

This will be short, sweet, and relatively easy.  Hence, I decided to put this as a blog instead of as a column.  Let's Get It!

 


National League MVP = Matt Halladay
 
American League MVP = Alex Rodriguez
 
National League Cy Young = Jake Peavy American League Cy Young = Josh Beckett
       
National League Division Series:
Colorado Rockies DEFEAT Philadelphia Phillies IN 5 GAMES
Chicago Cubs DEFEAT Arizona Diamondbacks IN 4 GAMES		 American League Division Series:
Boston Red Sox DEFEAT Los Angeles Angels IN 3 GAMES
New York Yankees DEFEAT Cleveland Indians IN 4 GAMES
       
National League Championship Series:
Chicago Cubs DEFEAT Colorado Rockies IN 6 GAMES		 American League Championship Series:
Boston Red Sox DEFEAT New York Yankees IN 7 GAMES

World Series:
Chicago Cubs DEFEAT Boston Red Sox IN 6 GAMES
 


 


NOTRE DAMN!

 

For the first time in their storied history, the all mighty Notre Dame Fighting Irish are 0-4 to start a season and at this point there doesn't appear to be any silver lining to the Chaz Weiss and gang's black, storming rain cloud.  In simplified terms, they can't score on offense or stop anybody from scoring on defense.  Even there special teams are sorry.  You have to start wondering how that 10 year, 6 billion dollar contract they gave Charlie Weiss to fend off any potential move back to the NFL is sitting with all the Notre Dame Booster Club Members.  Also, even though they aren't his new Huskies up in Washington aren't too much better, Ty Willingham has to be feeling simultaneously ecstatic and pissed off because the program is sinking, but Weiss won't feel any consequences or be ousted the way Ty Ty was sent packing.  All in all, I think the whole situation is great.  There are 2 kinds of people in America: Notre Dame Fans, and everybody else who hates them.  And if you are a member of the later grouping like I am, you really can't help but feel giddy inside as The Fighting Irish crash and burn like the box office numbers from Snakes on a Plane!
 


LET'S GO EAGLES

 

I'm going to make this short and sweet.  After last week's bullsh*% loss to the overachieving Packers and 19538 year old Brett Favre, the Eagles better come out tonight at home and DOMINATE the Redskins.  The only LIVING person in the NFL older than Favre (I believe that Raiders' owner Al Davis died in 1987 and they simply attached strings to him and show him off like a puppet in the Owner's box at every home game since) in the NFL is none other than Redskins coach Joe Gibbs, who also has a Nascar team that began with his sponsorship of Noah's Ark from the Biblical days.  If the Eagles lose this game, then I'm throwing this season away, driving to Philly tonight and shanking Andy Reid (I'm sure he will be at Pat's Famous Steaks whether they win or lose), and becoming a full fledged Chargers fan.

 

The good news is, even if all that happens and my next blog comes from Prison, the Giants still got raped at home by the same Packers that stole a win from us on their own field.  The only thing else I can say at this point is E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!!!!!

 

 

I LOVE THE NFL

 

No disrespect to any other sport, their leagues, owners, or players, but I must say that I LOVE THE NFL!!!  I absolutely do, every single facet of the game, everything associated with, EVERYTHING!  I remember through the years how things changed.  I grew up loving and playing baseball.  As I entered Junior High, I started playing more and more basketball and eventually became a bigger NBA fan and soon basketball was my favorite sport.  Then, as I got more and more into playing Madden every year and watching my Eagles (who just so happened to get better and better each year which surely helped) I became more and more into football.  There was a phase during my first 2 years of college at Rutgers University where all sports were overshadowed by Wrestling, but that's another story for another time.  However since then, and I can't quite pin point when it happened but chronologically that puts us somewhere between the year 2000 and 2001, I became a diehard football fan and have never even thought about looking back.  And that was that.  But unlike the other sports where at some point I "peaked out" as a fan and then started coming downhill until something else took it's place, I actually find myself loving the NFL more and more every year.  And the crazy part is that this holds true with America in general and not just me, which equals major $$$ for the league, it's owners, and players.  I've said it before and I'll say it again: if I could take a nap from the day after the Superbowl up through Opening Day NFL Kickoff, with one quick break in April for the NFL Draft and to use the restroom, I absolutely would!  Once the season ends, it immediately becomes a countdown until the next season begins.  March Madness, the Baseball Season,  and the NBA Playoffs each provide some relief to scratch the NFL itch, but nothing really gets the job done.  In August, Madden comes out and that pretty much OFFICIALLY kick starts the NFL Pre-Season, as everyone waits outside overnight to get it so they can rush home and see how each player is rated in the game.  But there isn't any other feeling in the world that compares to seeing my favorite team the Philly Eagles coming out of the Tunnel for the first time in Week 1 of every year.  Maybe my impending wedding currently slated for July 08 will create a similar if not better internal sensation.  But as of right now, there is nothing even in the same ballpark.  And because of this feeling, I am currently awake at 4:30am the night before kickoff writing this blog, unable to sleep because of my insane anticipation of tomorrow's game in Green Bay.  And you know what?  If I had a choice, I wouldn't have it any other way.  Booyakah!

 

 

BONDS AWAY

 

Sorry for the delay, I've been busy, but fear not as I'm going to make this short and sweet.  The Sports Jerk doesn't believe too much in fate, but I do know all about being at the right place at the right time.  And the other night I fell asleep at my hotel with ESPN 2 on my television, and literally woke up randomly at the very second Barry Bonds was stepping to the plate for the faithful at-bat that would end up becoming HR number 756.  For a seemingly endless 20-30 minute stretch of time lasting from the second that 3-2 pitch left Barry's bat, through all the post-record-HR festivities, and up through the resuming of the actual game that was being played, NOTHING else mattered!  The allegations, the hoopla, the "did he or didn't he" questions, NOTHING: all that mattered was the moment.  Watching first hand as baseball history was playing out was a wonderful thing, and Bonds speech was so surreal and organic that when you couple it with the timely played video message from Hank Aaron, the moment couldn't have been executed any better than it was.  Kudos to the Giants organization and Major League Baseball, you got this right.  It would have been so easy to get this situation WRONG, and understandably so, I don't think even the biggest Bonds fan would tell you he didn't expect some aspect of awkwardness to occur when 756 actually happened, but there was none.  Even Bud "Scrooge" Selig managed to not trip over his own feet like he so publicly did after 755 was hit, instead (according to Bonds' post game interview) calling and congratulating Barry for his remarkable achievement (President Bush called and relayed the same message).  I'd be lying if I said that this whole record and all the information surrounding it wasn't a work in progress.  At any point some information could come out that would make the almighty "s%$*" hit the fan.  I wouldn't be the least surprised if 10 years from now this was all looked back on as a total joke and a sham and that I will be ashamed for enjoying the moment so much.  But right now, AS IS...that 20-30 minutes was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L, and easily one of the top 3 Sports Moments that I have ever witnessed in the 27 years I have lived and loved sports!  Peace.

 

 

MILESTONE HR'S EVERYWHERE

 

What a day for baseball, right?  Mark 08/04/07 down in your history books ladies and gents, because today is the day where Barr-oid and A-Roid hit Milestone Homeruns that make the Steroid Era of baseball stand out like a fat chick attending a bulimic convention.  That's right, they are both cheaters in my opinion.  But at the same time, until one or either of them (barry Bonds or Alex Rodriguez for the slow folks) fails a single drug test, nothing is proven and we need to recognize and celebrate their accomplishments.  So what if Bonds suddenly got 20 times better at all things baseball and quadrupled in size at the tender young age of 37?  His "I'm Guilty" symptoms of cheating provided a good model for A-Roid, who has been smart enough to slowly get bigger and bigger each year, but not TOO big so that he would jump out as a needle-poked syringe star.  Barring any major injury, A-Rod might hit 900 homeruns in his career, forget about just passing Bonds or even hitting 800.  They showed the numbers last night on Sportscenter, and at the same age that A-Rod is at today, Hank Aaron and Barry Bonds both were hovering around 350 HR's, making Alex 150 HR's ahead of the curve.  It will be blasphemy if he doesn't eventually have the all-time record.  And at the pace he's currently on, which by my keen eye has him increasing in overall body mass by 1 inch per season, he too will have quadrupled in size from what he broke in looking like a rookie to what he will look like when he's in his early 40's and still popping pitches out of ballparks across America.  The wildcard Barry has thrown into all this is that he's already shouting out and overly supporting A-Rod's quest to beat his record, before he even has it himself (he has given him credit all season, and last night at his post 755 HR game, he started by showing Alex love).  Maybe he's feeling guilty, maybe he's taking shots at Hank for not supporting him, who knows...regardless, it makes this all the more interesting.  All in all my favorite side story of the whole situation that has been going on for the better part of the last week or so and finally coming to fruition last night has been the journey and plight of Bud Selig, or as some random host on ESPN satellite radio called him, "The Traveling Human Asterisk"!  Classic line from a person who's name I can't even remember.  Between his absolute lack of having or showing any emotions whatsoever when Bonds hit 755 as he sit in the stands seemingly trying not to fall asleep, and the understood fact that Selig completely hates Bonds and that he's best friends with Hammering Hank to boot, yes it's been fun watching Bud "Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don't" Selig floundering around uncomfortably during this whole ordeal.  If anything, he should have clapped and screamed hysterically when 755 shot into the Left field stands in San Diego because it means he can stop flying around the country and watching otherwise meaningless baseball games.  But instead, he looked startled, with a facial expression looking more like "hey who's that guy over there, where do I know him from?" than "God Damn you Barry Bonds you devilish piece of #*%$, how could you do this to my man-crush Henry, I hate you I hate you I hate you" which is what he was certainly feeling on the inside.  As a matter of fact, I came up with an idea that I will try to post later on today for this site: a contest where I post the snapshot of Bud right after the HR was hit with an empty bubble caption over his head that you the readers can fill in and e-mail to me.  First prize will be your very own giant syringe of BALCO fluids!  Let that marinate for a minute, I'm rolling, Booyakah!

 

 

THE SIMPSON'S MOVIE: Y-E-S

 

It's been a long, long, loooooooooooooooong time coming my friends.  I used to be the World's Biggest Simpson's fan, spending countless hours of my life watching and rewatching episodes, memorizing every funny scene, playing Simpson's trivia games with my brother...hell I even bought Simpson's Monopoly, Jeopardy, and Clue!  But then after Family Guy (which I didn't really like when it first came out), what was supposed to be it's biggest competition ever, went off the air the Simpson's found themselves without any real cartoon foe and seemingly the writers just stopped trying.  Long had the Simpson's schtick been witty, slapstick comedy; like Seinfeld meets Carrot Top meets Mickey Mouse.  But after FG went away, the Simpson's writers figured they could get away with resorting to completely random humor, a.k.a. FAMILY GUY'S BREAD AND BUTTER!  During this few year span when FG was off the air and the Simpson's jacked their whole steezo, I happened to buy the FG Seasons 1-3 DVDs and was blown away by the hilariousness of the show.  Then there was a "Bring Family Guy Back" movement that came to fruition, and during this time I slowly but surely turned on the Simpson's and into a FG fan.  I mean think about it: if I'm a show that steals another show's style, then that show must be better than me right?  It is that thinking that not only turned me into a bigger Family Guy fan then ever, but also made me downright angry and AGAINST the Simpson's!  Then slowly over the last few years since Family Guy came back and both shows have co-existed, I honestly have been too busy and usually work on Sundays so I haven't really been paying attention to either.  I bought the straight to DVD Family Guy movie and thought it was decent at best.  Then one day during the previews for some random movie I can't even remember, there was a coming attraction for SIMPSON'S: THE MOVIE.  Out of no where, my soul began bursting with anticipation.  I thought that part of my life, love, and heart was dead but alas, it was in there all along.  And today, everything came full circle as the Simpson's Movie finally came out, and there I was with the Sports Fiancée on opening night!  Being the nice guy I am, I will not provide any spoilers.  I will simply say that the movie was completely and utterly what you can expect if you are a fan of the show AND MORE!  It is a mix of the old school well written humor and the new school slapstick comedy, perfectly blended into one pie and served over 90 minutes to perfection.  Don't wait a minute longer, hell log off your computer right now and go see it...NOW!

 

 

IF YOU THINK VICK GOT IT BAD...

 

...how about all the Michael Vick impersonators out there?  Talk about the worst job in the world, not only are these guys most likely broke to begin with, but now they are out of a job (not too many people looking for a Vick or Fake Vick autograph session or birthday party appearance) and probably getting attacked and booed at in public by snarling PETA members and dog lovers.  Even without football, Vick got a money bin Uncle Scrooge from Ducktales would envy, and nothing to worry about because apparently he hangs out with the Beagle Boys so they won't be trying to break into his stash.

 

In all seriousness though, I've never given much thought to dog fighting.  I have a puppy and I'm pro-dog, but I never thought it to be more vicious and cruel, or relevant for that matter, than other "bad acts" like cock fighting and clubbing baby seals.  However, as more information leaked out about the actual pure gruesomeness involved in Dog Fighting and the treacherous allegations of killing and torturing dogs before they even made it to the ring for being not mean enough, Vick and Co. are definitely despicable people  as I can't even fathom the most inhumane person not cringing at seeing something like that, much less being the people committing such acts.  If any or all of these claims get substantiated, and Mike Vick ends up being the real-life dog torturing equivalent to Jigsaw from all the Saw movies, then I hope he rots in prison before he rots in hell.  Assuming he is guilty by all the percentages and ratios of the Feds convictions after they indict, upon conviction I'd actually PAY to see an Oz like HBO show with live footage of Vick trying to evade would-be rape attempts by humongous, fat, and sweaty roommates in a small cell of a grimy misc ATL prison.

 

In other words, Viva La Pero!

 

 

SPORTS VIDEO GAMES

 

Not sure about the rest of you, but the Sports Jerk is also into Sports Video Games.  Since I'm not in good shape like I was during High School and College, I don't really play any recreational sports currently (though I un-retired from competitive Men's Softball for a day to fill in for The Sports Bro's team 2 weeks back and gave a Doug Mientkiewicz-esque effort, getting absolutely no hits but playing a stellar first base).  So basically, I get my active Sports Fix from video games.  I'll play an action or shooter once in a blue moon, maybe even an RPG if I have loads of time to kill, but 99.9% of the time I only play Madden!  I've been an addict for years and even played in a Professional Madden League during college, where I once came within a failed 2-Pt Conversion from beating the reigning Madden World Champion at the time.  I eventually broke off from my league and created my own branch, which dissipated as soon as I graduated from Rutgers and loss the instant access to lots of people.  I ultimately quit playing seriously when all Madden leagues made the Jump from Playstation to X-box as I've always hated Microsoft's systems.  To give them a quick plug, here's a link to the Game Time Philly website, so be sure to check them out if you are into competitive Madden leagues and tournaments: CLICK HERE!!!

 

The most recent game I bought was "The Bigs" for Nintendo Wii.  CLICK HERE to read my Review of it.

 

 

HOME RUN DERBY TIME

 

So here we are just over 5 hours away from the 2K7 Home Run Derby and boy have things changed.  Hardly anyone cares and/or watches it, and I'm willing to bed that half the people who DO plan on checking it out will TiVo it and watch it later sans commercials (including The Sports Pop who works at night).  Since I'm on vacation from work and 24 is on hiatus until January, I have a big void in my Monday nights that usually is filled with Nintendo Wii games and Coronas.  However, since there actually are a few quality people competing tonight, I think I'm going to watch.  Here is the lineup of participants:

 

National League: Ryan Howard - 1B Phillies; Prince Fielder - 1B Brewers; Albert Pujols - 1b Cardinals; Matt Holliday - LF Rockies

 

American League: Justin Morneau - 1B Twins; Alex Rios - RF Blue Jays; Vladimir Guerrero - RF Angels; Magglio Ordonez - RF Tigers

 

In case you don't see the pattern, there is a total of 4 First Basemen and 4 Outfielders competing this year (note: Holliday is a last minute replacement for Miguel Cabrera of the Marlins, who plays Third Base, due to a shoulder injury).  Also, the four people that immediately pop into my mind who aren't in the contest but I would like to see also fit into the same patterns: Ken Griffey Jr., Manny Ramirez, and Barry Bonds are Outfielders and David Ortiz is a First Baseman.  With that said, here's how I think it will play out.

 

First Round

Eliminated: Alex Rios = 2 HRs, Justin Morneau = 4 HRs, Prince Fielder = 7 HRs, Vladimir Guerrero = 8 HRs

Advancing: Albert Pujols = 10 HRs, Matt Holliday = 11 HRs, Ryan Howard = 11 HRs, Magglio Ordonez = 13 HRs

 

Semifinals

Eliminated: Matt Holliday = 16 Total HRs, Ryan Howard = 18 Total HRs

Advancing: Albert Pujols = 19 Total HRs, Magglio Ordonez = 22 Total HRs

 

Finals

Eliminated: Albert Pujols = 4 HRs

Champion; Magglio Ordonez = 7 HRs

 

 

TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE

 

It's official: another phase of my childhood is now happily completed.  No folks, I didn't become a Major League Baseball Player, my other dream came through instead: they made a Transformers Movie and I saw it.  You know I had to be there opening night, so when you see this blog is listed as 7/04, fear not as that's because the 10:30PM movie on 7/03 didn't end until nearly 1AM (the official movie length is 2 hours and 23 minutes) and it's 1:30AM now as I type.  I'm not going to give away any spoilers, but they did a great job of incorporating a ton of things from the actual 80's cartoon series into a modern day, differently plotted mega-movie.  Some parts of the movie were a little drawn out (causing The Sports Fiancee' to fall asleep in the theater), but overall I'd give the movie a solid B+!  It's also safe to say they left potential room for a sequel.  The one feature the movie folks seemingly made up to assimilate things a little better is that all the Transformers are giant people shaped robot aliens that have the ability to scan any electronic device and then transform into it.  Maybe that happened in the cartoons too, I was around 7 when the show came out so my memory is a little sketchy there.  Plus there wasn't any need for "deep" plots back then with cartoons, simply Earth + Good & Bad Robots = Show!  Well that worked for me back then, and it worked again for me now in real Movie version.  Hell, the movie was SO good, you hardly even noticed Tyrese was in!  Now that I think about it, that fact alone brings my rating to an A+ infinity!  That's all for now, Sports Jerk, ROLL OUT...

 

 

ENJOYING THE NEW SITE?

 

What's up Peeps?  Just dropping a quicky today, but I'm hoping that the long time fans are back and some new fans are avidly reading the site.  As you have seen I got the whole Fam involved and we have a new layout!  Each Writer's column is neatly arranged, the most current column I write is listed in the middle on the main page as well, with all my older columns being accessible via the JERK UNCENSORED link.  Now as for the Fam, trust me when I say that we ALL appreciate everyone's feedback, both good and bad, so if you go to the COLUMNISTS page you can e-mail each person and give them your thoughts.  I think I have a good mix of Sports and Non-Sports alike going now, so the men AND the ladies should be checking us out.  If we keep the hits coming, things will only get bigger and better, so spread the word to everyone you know and check back daily for new stuff!!!  Hallelujah Hollaback...

 

 

I'M TIRED OF MIKE VICK

 

That's right, I said it.  It's been seemingly 100 years now since the guy's been in the league, and though he's always in the news, stories about his remarkable plays and good games are fewer and farther in between than ever.  Sorry to put a fork in the Falcons season before training camp even begins, especially since I think Bobby Petrino was a good hire, but IT'S OVER!!!  If Vick is lucky enough to actually play the season in between Dog Fights (it's 50/50 right now that he gets suspended; and his cousin a.k.a. the Retarded guy claiming to be his Cousin on the news will only make things worse the more he talks), he's going to prove once and for all that he is a fraud.  He's a freakish Athlete with a bullet arm, but his accuracy is trash and his Wide Receivers have been garbage since he joined the league.  Don't expect Joe Horn to play more than 6 total games this season.  And pencil Warrick Done in right now for 580 yards, 2 TD's, and a torn ACL.  Can someone answer me this question while we're at it: what good are bigger blockers and a great blocking fullback for Vick when he will OUTRUN THEM ON EVERY PLAY?  Let me just go ahead and answer that myself: None!  10 Months from now as we're all basking in the Dynasty talk following another Patriots Superbowl run, another Broken something for my Eagle's own Donovan McNabb, a 9-7 controversy filled Jaguars season, and a 52% Completion Percentage 6-10 Falcons season, we will have this wonderful scenario: Mike Vick, D. McNabb, and Byron Leftwich all cut and begging other teams to believe that they can actually pass, stay healthy, and aren't chubby and dumb respectively.  The sad part is, at least 2 of the 3 (if not all 3) will succeed, and Phase 2 of the Mike Vick Project will begin somewhere else.  For Shame!

 

 

HAPPY EASTER

 

What's up world? I know, I know; I have the most un-updated blog in the history of blogs.  Well to quote my favorite shirt worn by the fat little kid at the end of the movie 'Bad Santa', sh*t happens when you party naked!  Anyway, I actually have some things to be happy about this Easter.  My White Sox have come out the gate looking pretty good, handing Minnesota there first 'L' of the season yesterday.  On top of that, my Sabres are heading into the NHL playoffs with the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference and are currently tied for the most points in the league.  And to add icing to the infamous cake, my Eagles went out and got Takeo Spikes to add some playmaking ability to our underachieving, bad tackling, non-playmaking core of backers.  Now if only our 'big-time" free agent wide receiver Kevin Curtis WASN'T white and actually WAS good, and I wasn't completely sure that Andy Reid is going to take an undersized D-lineman or a never-will be Wide Receiver in the 1st round, I'd be totally stoked right now heading into the draft.  On that note, everyone have a happy Easter!!!

 

 

EAGLES UPDATE

 

So after all is said and done, the Eagles went out and dropped $32.5 Million dollars over 6 years on Kevin Curtis, a former Rams backup receiver who posted good numbers two years ago only to regress this past season as he became less important in Scott Linehan's offense.  Oh yeah, there's one more thing....HE'S WHITE!!!  There are three positions in the NFL that white guys simply CANNOT play well at, and they are Running Back, Wide Receiver, and Cornerback.  I especially love the stories on the Curtis signing, one that label's him as "sneaky fast" and another that refers to him as "the fastest white receiver in the league".  That last comment is great, because assuming that to be true, that makes him the 372nd fastest WR in the NFL!!!  Way to go Philly, you've done it again.  As a diehard Eagles fan, I can comfortably say that the Eagles just don't get "it" anymore.  They got "it" better than every other team this side of New England for almost the past decade, but have fallen well short for the last few years, starting with their attempted splash signing of Jevon Kearse all the way up through Kevin Curtis.  Sure we might go out and win the decision, but as always the NFC East is a crap shoot so let's wait and see.  Coming off last season, I for one have lowered my expectations and expect a 9-7 or 8-8 campaign from my Birds.  Only time will tell!

 

 

GUESS WHO'S BACK

 

Hello everyone, remember me?  I' m sorry to say that The Sports Jerk had Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/New Years Hang Over for a few weeks too long, but I'm back with a vengeance and full of stories and opinions to tell, so be scared...very, very scared!  Sorry to keep everyone waiting, hoping, praying, and panting, and a special shout out to DN Horseracing Columnist Duwayne Fendrick for keeping his picks going throughout my extended absence (he's been hitting some big winners too folks).  But rest assured, to quote Puff Daddy...P. Diddy...Sean Puffy Combs...Pooty Tang...whatever the hell his name is now, "WE AIN'T GOIN NO WHERE, IT'S SPORTS JERK FOR LIFE!"  Sure he said Bad Boy and not Sports Jerk, but you get the picture.  So even though my bread and butter (football) is going away for a while soon, the NBA is heating up, March Madness is on it's way, and Baseball is right around the corner so all will be well in the world of Sports Satire!!!

 

 

ANOTHER DUMB CHI-SOX MOVE

 

Hopefully somebody can explain this one to me because I'm baffled.  The White Sox were itching to get Brandon McCarthy a permanent rotation spot so bad, or at least they said they were, that they traded sure-200 inning guy Freddy Garcia to the Phillies for table scraps a few weeks ago.  And then here we are, 2 days before Christmas, and Santa Kenny Williams delivers our gift early; they ship McCarthy to the Rangers for unproven pitchers.  Why?  Can anyone with a brain answer this question, or do I have to rely on people without them (Williams, Guillen, etc)?  I'm not going anywhere else in this column other than to point out that if you're going to give us a BS justification for something (in this case trading Freddy), at least wait until enough time has passed that we FORGET before you go and prove your a liar.  Thanks, here's to hoping Garland pitches way better than he's capable of for another season.

 

 

SO WHAT IF JEFF GARCIA IS GAY?

 

As a lifelong diehard Eagles fan, nothing is more pleasing then when we beat those punks that call themselves the NY Giants (despite being in NJ, why does the state tolerate such nonsense?).  In all honesty, growing up in central Jersey surrounded by nothing BUT Giants and Yankee fans and refusing to be a front-running follower, I actually became an Eagles fan because of my undeniable hatred for 'Small Blue'.  And after suffering through that stretch a few years back where they beat us about 9 or 10 times in a row, the Eagles have been dominating the rivalry as of late.  Then came the horrible game in Week 2 of this season where we blew a game that not only would have put the Giant Pansies in an undigable hole dooming them to miss the playoffs (0-3 going into the Bye instead of 1-2 with all that infighting I so enjoyed would have crippled them) but also ended up costing us Jevon Kearse for the season when he got hurt in the Overtime frame which should have never occurred had Andy Reid managed the clock better.  We've been on a roller coaster since then, peaking first when we beat Dallas in TO's return and again at the Monday night game verses Carolina that I was in attendance for, and bottoming out in first in that Giants game and again in the terrible loss to the Titans that cost us Mcnabb for the year.  But yesterday's victory made a lot of pain go away, at least temporarily, mainly because of how it sets the rest of the season up.  Sure the Giants will still probably make the playoffs, hell we may even see them in the first round after we finish out by beating the Cowboys and Falcons.  But I'm feeling a lot better knowing that Tiki 'Tara' Barber is going out on a sour note with the way this season has played out, which couldn't be more fitting for the undersized, fumbling, scumbag that is one member of the twin Barber girls (Ronde 'Rhonda' being the other).  And on our side of the ball, a once left for dead Eagles team controls it's own destiny and is in a great rhythm of playing some solid football on both sides of the ball, and it is all thanks to one man: Jeff 'So What If I'm Gay' Garcia.  Admit it, TO was right; seeing Garcia on the sidelines with his white man's version of a du-rag is the icing on the "Maybe he IS gay" cake.  My question to you is, So what?  As long as he puts it in the other teams' asses on the field, who cares what gets put in his off it?  Sure he's undersized and over the hill, and maybe he looks like he is scrambling for his life on every single snap (including the plays where there is no pass rush at all), but the guy is getting to done.  I've never been the biggest McNabb fan, and have longed for us to have a suitable backup.  By Week 6 last year I was calling for the Mike McMahon error to start, since I knew him from some b-ball games at the gym back during both of our Rutgers games, only for him to eventually get his shot and stink it up.  This year, I was actually rooting for McNabb to keep playing because I didn't think JG had anything left in his tank.  I guess that shows what I know, or any of the so called 'experts' for that matter.  Predicting what a QB can or can't do has become, from season to season, absolutely impossible.  I'm starting to think there has to be a small countries worth of drugs going into NFL players' bodies, because the parody of individual PLAYERS from year to year, much less teams, is insane.  As for this season, every team in the NFC has 2 or 3 glaring weakness so it's going to be a crapshoot trying to find our Superbowl representative.  The joy will be in watching it all unfold, and for Eagles fans everywhere, it starts right where Jeff Garcia wants it to: with him standing right in front of a bent over man 'taking the snap'.