THE SPORTS MOM'S WORLD
| BACK AT WORK |
Well I am finally back to work. It was rather nerve racking
since it was almost 7 mos. but it only took a few minutes to get back into the
groove. Everyone was so welcoming and there were unexpected gifts and flowers
from various friends. As much aggravation as the office is, we do have a really
nice group.
As for how I felt....well it is still exhausting! I had enough hair to go
without a hat, but I still feel awkward. I try not to look in the mirror too
much. As much as I am not a makeup, hair and clothes person, it still freaks me
out to see myself with what is basically a crew cut!!! But if that's the worst
of it I think I am in pretty good shape!
Physically I am having contractures on the right side where the mastectomy was.
They say that will pass, and it hurts while it happens, but then it goes away. I
just stretch it alot. My hands and fingers seem to be very stiff and they get
very painful. But again, I try to stretch them. It seems the cold is making
everything hurt more, but hopefully when this chemo is out of my system I will
feel normal again. They say in about 6 mos. after the last treatment it should
all be out. I can't wait. Dec. 4th!! My calendar is marked.
The hot flashes are still a problem, but they are actually better with cooler
weather. I find that when I am stressed they are even worse. So I will try to
"be cool"! What the hell!
The medicine that they wanted me to take to prevent further cancer is still not
happening. I tried one and it made my joints hurt so much I stopped it. I have
enough joint pain without adding any. I still have the problem with taking
medicine so it isn't easy. I was given another one and I haven't had the courage
to try it yet. That one is supposed to be worse. So when I go back to the doctor
in Oct. I will hash it out with him then.
Otherwise "life is wonderful all the time" and yet they haven't come to take me
away yet!!! LOL!!
So unless anyone has any questions I am probably not going to center on this
anymore. Hopefully I will never have to cross this bridge again, please God! But
if you have any suggestions about future blogs just email me and write "breast
cancer" in the subject line - otherwise I will think it's spam. Thanks for
reading and peace be with you all.
Love, The Sports Mom
| FINALLY FINISHED |
Hello Everyone, and sorry for the long delay (so goes recovery). But I am happy to report that on July 28th I had my final reconstruction surgery. Everything went o.k. It wasn't even close to the original mastectomy.
The permanent implant went in through an incision line of about one inch, right where the first incision was. There was no problem with healing and it is completely finished.
The reconstructed side has larger incision lines, but they are all healing
nicely. The reduction is great. I should no longer have back pain or neck pain.
That will be wonderful.
Again there was no need for pain medication outside of a Tylenol here and there.
So as far as this is concerned I am done, I think. They say it takes up to six
months for all of the swelling to go down, and then they will look asymmetrical.
Until then, they just look freakin' weird!
I often rethink my decision, but I do know, in the end, I did what was right for
me. I wouldn't have wanted the radiation therapy, and I have always wanted a
reduction, so I have to keep my thoughts positive.
Now about the chemo....That may be done, but now there are hormone pills to
take. I was put on tamoxophen and I just didn't feel good. I have a hard time
taking medication as I have said, but this just made me feel lousy. And I am
sick of feeling lousy. I just want to get up in the morning and not think about
this ugly disease. Unfortunately, with the healing from the surgery that isn't
possible yet. So to take a new pill that makes the days worse, I just couldn't
do it.
So on my last visit to the oncologist he did blood work and found that I am post
menopausal. That would be great if I hadn't already heard from various doctors
that the blood work isn't always accurate. In any case, they now have prescribed
Arimidex. This is similar to the first pill but for woman who are definitely
post-menopausal. I am taking it to the pharmacy today and will attempt to start
it on Sunday. If my head didn't think all the time about side effects I probably
would be better off. That is the problem with having a nursing background.
I also had an oncology resident in training this time before I saw my regular
MD. She was really nice and actually spoke to me as a person, something my usual
MD doesn't. There is a lot to be said about doctors treating diseases, but good
doctors treat THE patient too. And that is how this resident was. I am going to
change oncologists soon, but I have to go one more time before doing that, just
to evaluate my progress on the Arimidex.
One of the questions this resident asked me was how was my mood. I said it was
good and that I am basically a happy person. She looked at me and said "you find
out you have breast cancer and you are happy?" I said, "I lost my mom and
brother to brain cancer, and my father and another brother had prostate cancer.
I had breast cancer and I am still alive!" She said O.k. then I guess you are
happy.
The point is that we have to continually put things into perspective. There is
so much sadness and illness out there today, we have to count our blessings. If
we don't we will be part of the sadness. I thank God each day for all he has
given me and I will continue to do that until I die. I consider myself a very
lucky and blessed human being. And I pray that will never ever change.
So until next time God Bless.....The SBM
| ON THE WAY BACK |
I finally finished my last chemo on June 4th. I had the last
shot of neulasta on June 5th and the last nausea and steroid medicines on the
7th!! AMEN!!! Now I see the doctor on the 21st and he wants me to take tamoxafen
for 5 yrs. This is a hormone pill. He said the chemo gives me a 40% chance of no
recurrence and with the pill it goes up to 60%! I really thought it was better
odds, but what do I know.
The last week was probably the worse of all as far as pain goes. I am assuming
there is an accumulation of the chemo built up in my body which just makes
everything worsen. Just stepping on the floor hurt. Every bone is aching. And it
hasn't stopped yet. The bigger bones hurt worse. It is like having a bad
toothache throughout your body.
There are contractions on and off through your chest, which I have explained.
They are caused from the neulasta. Your bone marrow is produced in your sternum
which gives you the pain across your chest. I took tylenol every 4 hrs. and this
eases the "grip" it has on you. But, it still hangs on.
The skin feels like it contracts. You can actually see on your scalp the bones
seem to stick out more. Your hands look like you have had them in water for
hours. They get all wrinkly. Your gums get the same way. Your tongue gets raw.
And there are heat rashes under your arms and breast. They can get very raw. But
you get hot flashes and night sweats constantly so I guess that is to be
expected.
My eyelashes are still fallling out. My eyebrows are very thin. The eyelashes
falling out cause your eyes to tear constantly. This is really annoying. Good
point.....I haven't had to shave under my arms or my legs!! That's one positive!
All of these seem to disappear within 3 weeks. So I am expecting to start
feeling much better next week. And this time, with no more chemo, they will
continue to improve. Thank God!
My hair is starting to come back, slowly. I am really hoping it comes in good
for my return to work in Sept.
I bought a new wig. It is just the bottom of a page boy. You have to wear a hat
over it as there is no top. Duwayne said it is "eh!!" He likes the other wig
better! Why do I even ask!!! You understand that one ladies!! LOL
The worst of the whole ordeal is the neulasta shot side effects. The pain is
really awful. But without it I know I would have been hospitalized as my white
counts did drop dangerously low after the chemo. And I have heard that would be
really bad. So I will take the pain as the shot worked!
Well, now all I have left is the plastic surgery. I go back to the surgeon on
the 24th and we begin injections again. Maybe 3, maybe 4. I am hoping surgery
will be the beginning of August so that I have a few weeks to regroup before
going back to work.
I hope that if anyone knows anyone who has questions about breast cancer or
chemo they can write me or just read this blog. I hope it answers any questions
you may have. I know there was a lot of info on the computer about the emotional
side of this disease, but there was nothing I could find about how the meds made
you feel. Everyone is different but if this helps just one person I will be
happy. If anyone writes just put breast ca in the subject so I know it isn't
spam.
I will write again when I start back with the surgeon. Until then God be with
you all. The SBM
| LAST CALL |
Well it is finally here.....the week of my last chemo
treatment!! Thank God. Thursday is the big day and I can't wait. Then my final
shot on Fri. or Sat. and the final pills Fri. thru Sun. And then I can hope that
3 weeks from today I will be feeling almost back to normal. And maybe in 6 wks.
I will have a good amount of hair on my head.
Hair is something I will treasure from here on. My eyelashes are falling out all
the time, making my eyes tear and itch. Combined with the allergies I think my
eyes are always red! No fun. And the rest of the body is just dry and hairless!
You nose actually needs those hairs, otherwise it always feel sticky and runny.
I looked at another website today on breast cancer. It was on lifetime. It was
again, not what I expected. None of the websites seem to tell you exactly how
people feel physically. Emotions are all over the place. Yes, I know how we all
feel. But, no one seems to write the physical side effects as you go along. That
is why I am writing this.
As for the expander....that is really getting uncomfortable. When your chest
tightens from the nulesta shot, the expander feels like it inflates!! It doesn't
of course, but there is such a tightness from under your arm through your chest.
It is just very uncomfortable. Two tylenol helps.
And the nulasta shot was not that bad this time. I had a friend come over
beforehand and do a relaxation technique and some praying, and then I had the
swatch from the holy water in Bosnia. Together they seemed to have done the
trick. Let's hope it lasts through this last treatment. There was still some
tightness and discomfort in the bones, but nothing like the past 2 times,
although the discomfort is still there, lasting longer than before. But I keep
thinking about a month from now and it isn't so bad.
I also realized that ice cream seems to make the effects of the nulasta shot
worse. For some reason if I eat ice cream the tightness follows close behind. So
that is my medical discovery in all of this. Maybe too much calcium. Milk and
cheese doesn't seem to bother it, just ice cream. Go figure! One of the greatest
foods ever invented!!! And of course Miller Lite does help, but only as long as
you are drinking it! Such is life!!
Well, I will write again after the chemo. Keep the prayers coming and a special
shout out to Duwayne's cousin Ann Marie who was part of a walk for cancer last
month. Again thank you!
Until next time. Be well, and God Bless. The SBM
| MORTALITY |
MORTALITY!! What a word. What a thought. What fear - or peace
- it can bring. Many years ago my first husband held a knife over me and
explained why he had to kill me. Without getting into any details I found a
divine feeling of peace. I thought to my self that I would either be so hurt
that I would be unconscious or I would be dead. And if I was dead I would be
with God and that was good. But above all I was in such a state of peace that
you can not even imagine. Being in that state I was able to suddenly sit up and
grab the knife from him and by the Grace of God I am sitting here today. I have
been searching for that peace ever since only finding glimpses of it here and
there. It was divine!
Well today again I thought of mortality. My mortality. And I was afraid. I
thought of meeting God in heaven and what would I do? What if he asked me to
justify coming into his home. What is it about me and my life that would make it
acceptable to enter into His home? Would I be worthy? Today I couldn't find
peace. Why was it so simple 30 years ago to just find that peace and today I
found fear? My only thought is that I have to become a better person. I must be
doing something wrong. And now I have to make it right. There is so much going
through my head in this regard that I can't get into it here. But work must be
done to find that peace again.
I had my third chemo again and again it was a disaster! I saw a nurse
practitioner instead of my regular doctor and she was great!!! She addressed all
of my concerns and made me feel very comfortable. For once she acknowledged that
it is my comfort that I have take care of and if I don't like my present doctor
there are 3 other doctors who are great in this practice and I am free to change
to whomever I choose. So that is my plan.
But then I went upstairs for the chemo. And ONCE AGAIN......I had a new nurse!!
I thought that last one was bad, well this once was worse!!! She went on and on
about how this chemo could burn holes through my arm if it touches the tissues
in my arm, and did I sign a waiver saying they are not responsible if this
happens!! I told her that if she couldn't do it find someone else and she said
she was going to. Then the nurse from last time came over and said the one who
starts the i.v. has to do the chemo and then left. I started crying
uncontrollably and another nurse came over. I told her what had happened and she
said that was ridiculous that every one can do this. Then they all had a
discussion while looking straight at me. I heard the nurse I was suppose to have
say she hadn't done this in over 20 yrs!!! Then she proceeded to come over and
start the chemo. Then she started telling me that my doctor never does it this
way and again how dangerous it is. I finally said to STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!!!
and she did. Thank God!!! I changed the subject to "shop talk - medicinal
insurance problems" and lo and behold she finished it WITHOUT hurting me!!! Like
I said before.....as a nurse you NEVER let a patient know you have fear in what
she is doing to you!!!!
I have had 2 really bad weeks from the last chemo and unpaged shot. I was only
feeling better the past few days. I needed this stress like I needed a freakin'
hole in the head! After my next chemo - which is thankfully the last - I am
going to tell these nurses - very calmly - that they had better NEVER EVER do to
any patient what they did to me!! There are so many elderly patients and this
might scare them to death. I would love to know where they went to school, or
how they would feel in my place!! That is a big problem with people today, the
inability to put yourself in the other person's shoes!!! Dylan sang a great song
that went something like this......I wish that for just one time you could stand
inside my shoes....then you'd know what a drag is it to see you!!!! How sad but
true that statement is in too many cases!!!
In any case, I am prepared to get through the next couple of weeks. I doctor
finally convinced me to just take the pain medicine when I need it. I will do my
best to summon the courage because I just want to get this over with. I will let
you know what happens. I opted for the Nulasta long acting shot this time and
the pain was more severe but it only lasted 2 days, whereas the nupogen pain was
slightly less but lasted 5 days. Hopefully there is no pain this time. God only
knows. My friend gave me a swathe of cloth that her friend got from Medjugorje
in Bosnia. There is a statue of Jesus on the cross and somehow a spring of water
began flowing from his knee. The friend soaked the cloth in this water, where
miracles have occurred. I am hoping this cloth will bless me with a miracle of
no pain. I must have faith.
Until next time God Bless, the SBM
| CHEMO |
Good morning. Well this week has been the worst so far. I
decided on taking the daily shot of nupogen to boost the white cells. The doctor
wanted me to have 7 days worth. Well, by Wed., day 4 I started having those
horrible pains in my chest again. Thurs. was the day for my labwork so when I
got the results, which were actually better than after the first chemo, I asked
if I could skip the rest of the shots due to the pain. The doctor said o.k. just
return on Monday for more blood work. So I didn't have to get the last 3 shots
and I thought that would make a difference. It didn't. Yesterday was horrible
with the pain. It is like having contractions (while in labor!) but only in your
chest! They would subside for maybe 10 minutes in between each one. Then I said
the heck with it and had a few beers which seemed to help. But afterwards I was
back to the same pain. And this morning I am tight, but so far not as bad as
yesterday.
I am so tired and I just want to quit this bullshit! I feel like I am losing
myself and I can't stand it. You would think in this day and age they could have
perfected a shot that doesn't give side effects. The taste in my mouth is not so
much metal as paste on cardboard. And I am tired of being bald. In honesty, I am
just in a real whiny mood. I cry at the drop of a hat. I just want off this
merry-go-round. After all there is no indication that there is any cancer left
in my body. Who is to say it will come back? Sure the test results weren't
encouraging, but how many test results prove inaccurate down the road. I have
been in the medical field long enough to know that it is far from perfect. So
much for looking at the bright side!!
These past few days I have had such a hard time looking for the bright side. The
nausea and pain is enough to kill you! I know the next few days will get better,
but I am tired! I do thank God for every day, because I have lost my mom and
brother to cancer and know this could be so much worse. But now and then it just
gets a little more than I can take. Hopefully the next time I will be able to
write a more cheery note. And I have decided to get a wig!! I hate looking in
the mirror everyday! It just reminds me that this isn't over yet!! Till then,
stay well, and take care of your bodies!! the SBM
| BLOG V 4.0 |
Well I had my second chemo on Thursday. I was somewhat apprehensive, but not like the first time. I took my half of xanax and was ready, I thought for the day.
I got to the office and saw the doctor after having lab work. I told him about
the side effects of the shot and he tried to tell me to hang in there. I
explained that I knew there was an alternative and he said yes, but it was one
shot every day for 7 days. I told him that would be fine. I could have gotten it
through the pharmacy and given it to myself at home, but the insurance wouldn't
cover it that way. They waste more money paying the extra office visit fees!!!
Anyway, I will go everyday starting tomorrow for 7 days. Hopefully there won't
be side effects.
Now about the chemo....I am a nurse. You DO NOT let your patient know if you
have any reservations about their treatment. Well, I wasn't that lucky this
time. The last time the nurse was very nice, very confident and reassuring. This
one was was not. She started by saying "you don't have a port. if this leaks
into your tissues you will need major skin grafting. They haven't done this for
over 20 yrs. this way." Well, I explained that we had been through this and it
went o.k. the last time. She was not the kind of nurse I would hire to say the
least. Anyway she did it, putting the i.v. in my hand this time. Then she folded
back the line and taped it to my wrist. Well, let me tell you, the medication
was ice cold. It froze my hand and my wrist. Then she has to infuse it over 1/2
an hour, and should continually draw back to make sure there was good blood
flow. Well, she didn't quite do it that way. She would slow down and get
absorbed in a conversation with the woman sitting next to me. The about a 1/3 of
the way through they told her that her brother-in-law was there to see her and
suddenly it was like a race to the finish. She finished in no time flat. Too
fast!! They are supposed to give you a good saline flush before the next
medication, which of course she didn't do either!! Anyway, I told the woman who
draws my blood and she said to speak up next time and do not let her do the
chemo. This I will do, although I do have a hard time speaking up. But I don't
think I could put up with her again! Take it from me, speak your mind!!
In any case, I started my 3 days of steroids and anti-nausea meds, which leave
you hyper and everything tastes like cardboard ( which is much better than
metal!). And I didn't sleep last night. But the good news is that I felt pretty
good otherwise. We went to Walmart and bought I lot of flowers and spent the
afternoon planting. It was a little cool but nice. And today and tomorrow are
supposed to be in the 80's, so I will sit outside. maybe have a beer and just
R&R.
By the way, I am really bald. The hair, outside of a small T at the crown is
gone. But a baseball cap does the job and it will come back in a few months. I
don't really mind at all. But I wonder if my family hates looking at me this
way!!
Well, until next time....God Bless and carpe diem!! SBM
| NEXT INSTALLMENT |
Well this was a wonderful weekend. Thank God! The weather was
beautiful Sat. so my husband and I cleaned the house and then sat in the sun,
had a few beers and just relaxed for the first time in quite awhile. (I have to
advise against sitting in the sun too long. I was in and out and my skin was
o.k., but my lips really dried up. Keep them covered!!)
My father and his girlfriend Sue came for dinner. We had a really nice time, as
always. My father is 90 yrs. old and a great inspiration to me. He has more
physical ailments than one can imagine and yet, everyday he gets up and thanks
God for another day. He talks to God all the time. And he never complains about
anything. If you knew my dad back in the day you would never believe this is the
same person. When things seem to get tough for me I just think about him and
realize I am doing just fine.
The one thing that occurred this weekend was....hair loss. While showering Sat.
I realized my hair was really starting to fall out. Then on Sunday it was
difficult washing my hair and getting the hair off my hands. So I took the
scissors and cut it to about half an inch. I figure I will have to shave it
soon, but I just want to wait a day or two. I haven't bought a wig yet, but I do
have a few bandanas and caps. I am definitely a left over from the sixties and
seventies!!! Jeans and T-shirts are basically my entire wardrobe!!! So bandanas
kind of fit.
It wasn't easy to cut off my hair. It took a few hours to get the courage. I am
not one to use make-up or hair products, and I have cut my hair short in the
past. But bald?!?! One of my friends asked me last week if I look like my
husband yet! (He is bald!) We laughed, but. alas, it is happening whether I like
it or not.
But other than that, this was a good weekend, and hopefully I can look forward
to every third week of feeling human again. This Thurs. is my second chemo and I
look at it as half over!! Then it is only a couple of months to the final
surgery and this will all be behind me.
One more thought......Friday I was watching T.V. and someone mentioned on a show
that every morning they wake up and say "today I will have a good day". So
Friday night I said. "Tomorrow I will have a great day", and I say it every
night and repeat it in the morning. Three days now and I am feeling great. Maybe
just programming our brain ahead of time is the answer. Try it and I pray it
works for all of us.
Have a great day!!! The Sports Bra Mom
| STILL GOING STRONG! |
OK, how about a little more about myself? I smoke cigarettes
(yes, I know it's stupid!!) and I like to have a few lite beers now and then. So
I can put this into my body, but medicine always freaked me out! Well, I managed
to get through the first chemo session with no problem. The next day I was fine
also. At 5 p.m. I went to the doctors for a shot to boost my white cells which
apparently are destroyed with chemo. At 8 p.m. that night the fun started.
First I felt my face turn bright red. Then I started sweating like never before.
O.k. They say to call the doctor with any side effects like this, but it just
didn't seem that serious. So I went through the night sweating and my face
burning up. In the morning I had a large area of red raw skin under my remaining
breast. I hadn't had that since I was pregnant. I didn't have a fever and
outside of anxiety I didn't think it was too bad. I took a xanax and the
prescribed stomach medicine and steroid as directed. I attributed my lact of
sleep (only 3 hrs. all night) to the steroids. I finally called the doctor, just
for safety sake, and he said this was a reaction and if it worsened go to the
e.r. or come to the office on Mon. I did neither. I figured that when the
steroids were done on Sunday all would be fine. And for these side effects this
was true.
Then on Wednesday......oh my God! I thought at first I was having a gall bladder
attack. I started drinking hot water and took Pepto Bismal. The spasms continued
and my chest felt like it was crushed. The one major side effect of the
injection is a warning that if you have severe upper abdominal pain or pain in
your shoulder "tips" you may have a ruptured spleen!!!! Do you believe it!! I
kept breathing and drinking hot water and finally called the doctor around 3p.m.
I spoke with the nurse and found out that this is a definite side effect of the
injection. Apparently the shot causes your bone marrow to produce more white
cells which causes the severe pain in your sternum and makes all of your major
bones (i.e. hips, chest spine, etc.) hurt like hell!!!! Well these attacks came
on and off all day. She said it is usually the worst in the first week and then
it should ease up. She was right. But getting through that day....I took Tylenol
every 2 hrs., fell asleep for a 1/2 hr. woke up sweating and then it started all
over again. I really thought at some point I would die!! The nurse assured me I
wouldn't! Thank God for nurses!!!!!
Anyway, I got through what I consider the worst of it so far. The nurse also
told me that the next time there is another shot that isn't long acting and I
would have to get more of them, but the side effects aren't so bad. I will opt
for that one. I still have spasms, but not as bad. I know dairy, especially ice
cream, makes it worse so I will give that up for now. My blood counts were all
down last Thurs., so I have to avoid infection and repeat the labs this Thurs.
Hopefully they will be back to normal and then it's time for the second chemo!!
Yippee!!! Will keep you posted. Thanks again for all your support. Any
questions? send them in care of the sports jerk, so I don't delete them. Have a
great week. The sports-bra mom
| SALUTATIONS & WELCOME TO TSMW! |
Well hello from the "Sports Bra" Mom. I am not going to speak about sports though, as the men in this family have that pretty well covered. My background is that of a 53 yr. old mother of 3 wonderful adult sons and a career as an LPN. I have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and would like to answer any questions you may have. The current history is as follows:
* I had a routine mammogram on 1/17/09. There were new micro calcifications found and a biopsy followed. I was found to have stage I grade 3 cancer. It was in and out of the milk ducts and the grading means abnormal cell formation. Luckily it was not in the lymph nodes, but I had a mastectomy on the right breast. It was a hard decision between a lumpectomy vs. mastectomy, but I knew that if it ever recurred it would scare me that much more, so the mastectomy was my choice.
* I had the mastectomy on 2/17/09 and all went well. I spent one night in the hospital and my son stayed and helped me through the night. I didn't want pain medication as I HATE medication that alters the mind, so I never pushed that morphine button. My wonderful son helped me through, getting me ice chips and keeping me going all night. Thank God for him. Then I came home and it was uncomfortable, and I was tired, but that, looking back was the easy part. Everyday I got stronger. The surgeon put in an expander, which I still have, until the permanent reconstruction can be finished. It's like having a rock planted in your chest. You know it's ALWAYS there!!! And you have to wear a sports bra 24/7 for a long time....hence the nickname. But it's still nothing compared to the chemo!!!
* Now I went to the oncologist and he did a new test, called oncotestDX. This test tells you whether you are likely to have recurrence or metastasis disease within 10 yrs. If it comes back negative or low you would not need chemo. Unfortunately my results were at a high risk for both. Hence, the chemo!!!
* I began chemo therapy last Thursday, 4/2/09. I was petrified to say the least. I don't even like to take aspirin. So this I knew would be a huge ordeal for me. I began the day crying and missing my mom who passed away in 1999. If ever you need your mother...... Anyway.... I managed to get through the chemo o.k. They first give you i.v. stomach and steroid medication to try to avert any reactions. Then they injected a medication called andromycin followed by another medication called cytoxin. this was followed up with a saline flush. It all took about 1-1/2 hrs. Not bad. Then they send you home with 2 prescriptions for more stomach medication and steroids that you take for 3 days. Today is day 5. I am doing o.k., but in my next notes I will discuss the shot for your white cells and side effects. If you have any questions please feel free to ask as it is all fresh in my mind at this time.
I keep trying to think of ways to get out of this, but life isn't like that. Sometimes you just have to "do it"!!! What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right? I sure hope so. Until next time...
TSM