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*Thru Week 15* |
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| NOW | LAST | TEAM | RECORD | THE SPORTS JERK'S REASONING |
| #1 | #2 | Steelers | 11-3 | The offense sputters in spurts, but there is no denying that this Steeler defense is a borderline elite unit. |
| #2 | #5 | Colts | 10-4 | It wasn't the easiest road to get here, but the Colts are right where everyone expected them to be. |
| #3 | #1 | Titans | 12-2 | If Haynesworth & Vanden Bosch can't go in the playoffs, the Titans miracle season will become a nightmare. |
| #4 | #3 | Panthers | 11-3 | DeAngelo Williams is the #1 Fantasy Running Back this season and the Panthers may snatch the #1 seed. |
| #5 | #4 | Giants | 11-3 | As the Giants continue their sudden decline, I for one would just like to say I TOLD YOU THEY SUCK!!!!! |
| #6 | #7 | Eagles | 8-5-1 | After murdering the Browns, the Eagles are 2 division wins and a little help away from snagging that 6th spot. |
| #7 | #10 | Patriots | 9-5 | Following the passing of his father, Matt Cassel played the game of his life to keep the Pats tied for 1st. |
| #8 | #11 | Vikings | 9-5 | Tarvaris Jackson looked like Randall Cunningham out there against the suddenly-shaky Cardinals defense. |
| #9 | #9 | Dolphins | 9-5 | It wasn't pretty but a Bill Parcell's team never is. Chad's return to the Meadowlands draws closer. |
| #10 | #6 | Ravens | 9-5 | Tough, tough loss for the Ravens. Now B-More needs to show their mettle and try to win out. |
| #11 | #14 | Cowboys | 9-5 | The Three Amigos post game interview looked nice, aside from being complete and utter garbage of course. |
| #12 | #16 | Falcons | 9-5 | This year's been great, but another good draft & some key free agents will make the Falcons real contenders. |
| #13 | #8 | Buccaneers | 9-5 | In just two short weeks the Bucs have went from fighting for the division to fighting just for a playoff spot. |
| #14 | #13 | Jets | 9-5 | A win is a win is a win, but the Jets 110% deserved to lose that game if not for J.P. Losman being an idiot. |
| #15 | #18 | Texans | 7-7 | Too little, too late AGAIN. If Houston could ever get off to a fast start in a season they would be deadly. |
| #16 | #20 | Bears | 8-6 | They need help from Minnesota, but Chicago could still possibly win the NFC Norris division. |
| #17 | #12 | Broncos | 8-6 | Denver better beat Buffalo at home this week; a trip to San Diego for the division title would be dreadful. |
| #18 | #15 | Cardinals | 8-6 | I think we can officially say that if the Cards were in any other division, they would have a losing record. |
| #19 | #17 | Saints | 7-7 | Would the voters name Drew Brees League MVP if the Saints finish with a .500 record and miss the playoffs? |
| #20 | #21 | Chargers | 6-8 | Technically still alive, if San Diego makes the playoffs somebody is going to be in trouble in the 1st round. |
| #21 | #19 | Redskins | 7-7 | Jim Zorn feels like the worst coach in America; Running Back Clinton Portis concurs. |
| #22 | #23 | Packers | 5-9 | Very quietly, and despite only 3.9 YPC, Ryan Grant has managed to rush for 1000 yards this season. |
| #23 | #22 | 49ers | 5-9 | They outplayed the Dolphins for 60 minutes, but San Fran just couldn't get the ball in the end zone. |
| #24 | #25 | Jaguars | 5-9 | The team is heading in the wrong direction, but at least MJD is looking like a Top 5 fantasy pick for 2009. |
| #25 | #24 | Bills | 6-8 | After calling that Roll-out Pass & costing them the game, Ralph Wilson should have nixed Jauron's extension. |
| #26 | #28 | Seahawks | 3-11 | Even in this terrible terrible season, the Seahawks still own the St. Louis Rams. |
| #27 | #26 | Browns | 4-10 | Romeo's bunch laid an egg at Philly on MNF, but at least Braylon showed he still has skills. |
| #28 | #31 | Bengals | 2-11-1 | Thanks for making the Tie with the Eagles more bearable by actually BEATING the Redskins. |
| #29 | #27 | Chiefs | 2-12 | Carl Peterson has seen enough, and is stepping down after 1000 years at the helm. Finally! |
| #30 | #29 | Rams | 2-12 | It's funny to think that the only teams the Rams beat were the Cowboys & the good-at-the-time Redskins. |
| #31 | #30 | Raiders | 3-11 | Not only were they spanked at home, but they made Matt Cassel once again look Brady-like. |
| #32 | #32 | Lions | 0-14 | They gave Indy a brief run before they remembered that they were the Lions. |